Yes, I think you are overthinking.
But to answer your question, the lightest WDH kits:
-Anderson: Unproven. There is another thread here, where someone finally started getting some actual weights to see how much weight it can actually distribute. So far, it has not been shown that it can return the front axle weight back to stock (what it was before trailer attached). Also, it's just so new (unproven) yet costs as much or more as a proven system like the Equalizer.
-Single-Bar-400 and mini-350: Too lightweight. Like the names imply, these are TW limited, and are suitable for popups and the like (I used a 400 when I towed a 3000 lbs Coleman popup behind Chrysler minivans).
I think what you have is probably typical for most WDH as far as weight. Equalizer will give you better/integrated sway control, but that is debatable. I say, love the one your with, and go camping!
PS - I suspect there will be areas in the rear of that 23RS for storage that will offset the items you list (in the other thread) which increase TW.
thebrakeman ('70), DW ('71), DD ('99), DD ('01), DD ('05)
2004 Surveyor SV261T (UltraLite Bunkhouse Hybrid)
2006 Mercury Mountaineer V8 AWD Premier
Equal-i-zer WDH (10k), Prodigy Brake Controller