Personally I leave that valve shut until I dump the black tank. I want as much grey water as possible to rinse things out after the black is done.
I'm not sure on your exact layout but in mine the kitchen and bathroom sinks go into the grey tank that is right by the black tank. The other tank is shower only. My indicator light on the panel is for the tank that the 2 sinks go into, the shower tank doesn't have one. The only way I know it's full is when water builds up in the shower pan.
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