You've come to a good place to ask questions and find useful help. Even I'll try and help a little.
I believe that most of your problem is that you didn't have enough tongue weight and your TV tires probably wern't inflated to the max. That coupled with the fact that one friction sway bar isn't nearly enough, caused the issues you had.
<< Below is my honest belief. Please don't take it the wrong way >>
"NEVER use any type sway control hitch to mask a bad setup!!!! Make sure your setup is as good as it can be then add sway control as insurance.
You should be able to safely tow your RV without any sway control devices on a straight, level road with no wind and it not sway." I would never recommend or condone towing without sway control. I'm just saying that on a perfect day you should be able to.
That said, I agree that you need a better hitch and it needs to set up properly.
In order to make your rig safe and happy you need to load the RV for camping and go to the nearest scale and weigh it and the vehicle. Hooked up and unhooked. If you don't know how, please ask here and some of us will give you a detailed explanation of how to do it.
You should inflate your tires to the max sidewall pressure.
You should shoot for 12% of the RV weight on the tongue.
You should have the WD (weight distribution) hitch set up to transfer the weight properly.
You should have your brakes and brake controller set up properly.
If you do all these things you should be able to have a much less stressful tow.
I have the Equal-i-zer and am very happy with it but for you I'd recommend the Reese Straight Line Dual Cam. You complain about the noise and the Dual Cam makes a little less noise than the Equal-i-zer. BUT, they all make noise. The noise you're hearing now is most likely the friction bar. They grunt pretty loud when they're tight.