Over coming Family objections

[jonandjolene]

Just saw a bumper sticker the other day on the back of a monster Prevost Bus that read: "If there is anything left when we are gone, we've miscalculated". My sentiments exactly!!!!!

[mom28]

To the OP!

I am 44 this month. When I was in my early 20's, I watched more than 1 person waiting until retirement to.....vacation, do what I want, etc. 1 person was diagnosed with cancer the day after she retired and was gone in less than 6 months. The other had so many health issues by retirement, it was too late to enjoy those things he had looked forward to for so long.

I made a vow that I would live within my means but I would not put off things until it was too late or let the "what ifs" stop me. Family vacations were my priority and have been for the last 20 years. We take "extravagant" trips, and bought a too "expensive" camper....etc. People judge but I don't care. We have not let it interfere with putting a roof over our head and food in our mouths. We might not have designer clothes or live by other people's standards, but we do just fine.

I have also watched my 8 brothers and sisters go a little looney in their "concern" over my elderly parents. My dad died 8 years ago and my mom is still alive. And some of them really don't see that their "concern" is a burden to my mother. Kids need to learn that our parents are adults who are willing and able to make decisions for themselves, even if we don't agree with them.

Buy! And have FUN! While you still can!!!

[Cajun Po-Boy]

Originally Posted by jonandjolene

Just saw a bumper sticker the other day on the back of a monster Prevost Bus that read: "If there is anything left when we are gone, we've miscalculated". My sentiments exactly!!!!!

Nice...I like that one!

[OldCoot]

Weezer's mailbox is full!

[Weezer]

Meh, I figure the more we leave 'em, the bigger the fight will be and the more the lawyers will get. /snark

So see? We're doin' them a favor!


So actually I'm a very considerate parent.

[Weezer]

Originally Posted by OldCoot

Weezer's mailbox is full!

IS NOT!!















now.

[camper67]

@ mom38
That's exactly my beliefs as well. My dad passed from a attack at age 57 16 yrs ago so he didn't get to retire.
I grew up camping and having to pinch pennies. Now my family goes on nice camping trips and nice cruises and we live within our means.
So to the original post... Send it till you can't and have the best retirement you can.

[Ford Idaho]

Originally Posted by Weezer

Meh, I figure the more we leave 'em, the bigger the fight will be and the more the lawyers will get. /snark

So see? We're doin' them a favor!

Go with the one that applies.

[Weezer]

The first one....we're holdin' on to some of our stash for camping trips!

I'm chuckling while posting this...I can just see 'em tryin' to get refunds on the reservations we'll have made.

[MillerTime]

Op.
Go for it. As others have stated, there is no guarantee of a tomorrow.
I am keenly aware of this as my father passed when he was just days from turning 31. I was a little guy then, later when living with my grandparents (because I didn't get along with step dad) my Grandfather went in for a biopsy, and 2 weeks later I was at a funeral.
I always wanted my Grandma to be able to see my kids, and she has. I wanted to out live my Dad, and I have by 2 years now.
Every day is a gift from God, we need to make the best of each one!
And I cant think of a better way of "making the best of each day" than spending time with family, seeing, experiencing and taking in all of God's great world- you know, camping!
Just think how blessed we all are to be able to do so!!!
Best wishes!!

MillerTime- Future Sabre Handler!!

[campdohbrew]

Originally Posted by Triguy

Let's give their kids a benefit of a doubt.

I doubt that their adult children our worried about a loss of inheritance. That's a dynamic that I just do not see in real life too often (my day job is managing money so I get to see these things play out at all levels of wealth and rarely have I seen children that blatant).

My guess, and only Sewhappy knows for sure, is that the kids are worried the purchase could impact their folks' cash flow later in life and so cause issues if the money was needed for health care costs or other costs and not there.

Understandable concern but its an unnecessary worry. I find most people make wise decisions on big purchases later in life. The saying that "tigers don't change their stripes" applies to most retirees. That is, if they were prudent in how they made their purchase decisions over the last 40 years, than they tend to be prudent throughout retirement. The kids just need to trust their folks that they continue to be smart in these decisions.

@Sewhappy- good for you with this change! 20 years is a long time to have waited and no doubt you'll enjoy the new trailer even more because of it.

Well put!

[dustman_stx]

Originally Posted by Weezer

Seriously? it's considered being "a selfish inconsiderate parent" to want to enjoy the fruits of your *own* labor over the years? Is it inconsiderate to want to ENJOY your after-raising-children years?

If so, then by golly I'm one helluva inconsiderate parent. I guess I'm just fortunate that OUR children don't see it that way. I have three grown sons, DH has two grown sons, and not ONE of them begrudged our choice to start early with our retirement plans to purchase an RV and travel.

We both have always put our kids first (one thing that immediately garnered my admiration for him) and "did the responsible and right thing".

If any of our sons had objected we'd have firmly reminded them that we worked HARD to support them emotionally and equally HARD to support them financially, and since we've always been so responsible, there's no reason to believe we're suffering from early senility. /snark So, we're DOING this with or without your approval. "If you behave yourself, you *might* get an invite to go along with us for a trip or two!" If not, we'll just ground you from the RV!

Why would you think I was talking to you?

Edit:

I was specifically referring to Crabbyguy's statement of "You earned it and the it's none of the kid's business." There are worlds of kids out there that, IMHO, are helping "earn" some of that money in the form of sacrificed time with parents. Just because the kids weren't at the job doesn't mean they weren't having to sacrifice for the pay. If that's not you, then ignore it. But there are MANY out there like this. Maybe Crabbyguy is just being "crabby". There's a reason I put the word "might" in my earlier statement.

[Firefighter969]

Originally Posted by B47

I fully agree. Invite the downers over to help you load it up for your first trip and wave goodbye to them as you pull.

X2

[meck51]

Everyone dies, but not everyone truly lives. Enjoy every day for what you have not what you long for.

[Crabbyguy]

Originally Posted by dustman_stx

Why would you think I was talking to you?

Edit:

I was specifically referring to Crabbyguy's statement of "You earned it and the it's none of the kid's business." There are worlds of kids out there that, IMHO, are helping "earn" some of that money in the form of sacrificed time with parents. Just because the kids weren't at the job doesn't mean they weren't having to sacrifice for the pay. If that's not you, then ignore it. But there are MANY out there like this. Maybe Crabbyguy is just being "crabby". There's a reason I put the word "might" in my earlier statement.

It sounds like liberal logic to me but I'll bite.......Nope, not crabby at all, just stating reality. I raised my kid to be responsible and independent including financially independent, not some spoiled whiner who hopes in the end he'll receive some inheritance cause he "sacrificed" time with me or I with him. If I told my son now that I'm holding off on a purchase because of sacrifices you mentioned, he'd be insulted.

[SKnight]

Originally Posted by dustman_stx

Why would you think I was talking to you?

Edit:

I was specifically referring to Crabbyguy's statement of "You earned it and the it's none of the kid's business." There are worlds of kids out there that, IMHO, are helping "earn" some of that money in the form of sacrificed time with parents. Just because the kids weren't at the job doesn't mean they weren't having to sacrifice for the pay. If that's not you, then ignore it. But there are MANY out there like this. Maybe Crabbyguy is just being "crabby". There's a reason I put the word "might" in my earlier statement.

Did you help your parents out with the expectation of getting paid? What logic we have here.

[dustman_stx]

Originally Posted by Crabbyguy

It sounds like liberal logic to me but I'll bite.......Nope, not crabby at all, just stating reality. I raised my kid to be responsible and independent including financially independent, not some spoiled whiner who hopes in the end he'll receive some inheritance cause he "sacrificed" time with me or I with him. If I told my son now that I'm holding off on a purchase because of sacrifices you mentioned, he'd be insulted.

Hah!!! Talk about making assumptions about people!!! Everyone that knows me would laugh at you calling me a liberal. :rollback: You're putting words in my mouth when you assume I am arguing in favor of the OP's kids inheritance. I simply pointed out that the objecting party COULD be a little upset IF he/she had the type of parent that never spent time with them BECAUSE they wanted to amass a large amount of savings rather than spend time with them when they could. There are worlds of people out there like this. I'm not taking about being financially responsible. I'm talking about those that value money over family. Did you invest time and money into your family and raise them to be productive, responsible citizens? GREAT!!! In doing so you were still able to save and enjoy retirement? EVEN BETTER!!!! Did the second but not the first? Then you're not that great of a person, IMHO- and you'll have a hard time convincing me otherwise. I'm not pointing fingers here. Simply stating another point of view to consider. You decide which you are- I'm not making assumptions about anyone here, regardless of the assertion to the contrary.

[dustman_stx]

Originally Posted by SKnight

Did you help your parents out with the expectation of getting paid? What logic we have here.

Did you stop to think why I put the word "earn" in quotes? That meant I was speaking figuratively.

[SKnight]

Originally Posted by dustman_stx

Did you stop to think why I put the word "earn" in quotes? That meant I was speaking figuratively.

Quotes or not, the mere suggestion of such is a serious statement.

What's more sad, this is how many, many people think today.

[indybp57]

[QUOTE=Sewhappy;583323]Well, here we are waiting to take delivery on a new CC36 ckts, two of our adult children are happy for us and one is a downer.
QUOTE]

Like everything else in life, you can't please everyone. Some people are glass-half-full types and some are glass-half-empty types. Sounds like you have 2 of the former and 1 of of the latter. If you wait on a unanimous vote from your children you will never do anything. Tell the downer that you appreciate their concern and value their advice, but that everything will be fine, and go have a good time.