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Old 04-11-2014, 01:01 PM   #81
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Regardless of whether you did or did not take time for your kids while they were growing up. You and your wife saved for your retirement and it really is none of the kids business how you spend your retirement time or money. Should they be concerned, yes, but interfere, HE-- NO! Go for it and don't look back. There's not that much time left for any of us. After my mom died, my dad (72/73 yo) took his 24' Coachmen and circled the entire US from MO to TX to CA to WA to Nova Scotia, down the east coast to the Gulf and back to MO. Were we concerned YES, did we try to talk him out of it? NO. We did ask him to call us every 2 or 3 days to tell us where he was in case something happened which he did. He spent the better part of 8 months on this jaunt and talked about it until he died @ 88.
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:15 PM   #82
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Did you help your parents out with the expectation of getting paid? What logic we have here.
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Quotes or not, the mere suggestion of such is a serious statement.

What's more sad, this is how many, many people think today.
Where you're wrong is that I wasn't suggesting that kids should be paid for help. I am very "Andy Griffith" when it comes to raising my kids. What I was suggesting is that all we really have is time. As a man with a family, I have to choose how to allocate that time between my responsibilities. I see many people that, IN MY PERSONAL OPINION, pay too little regard to the TIME they invest in their kids. That TIME is used chasing money. I see it as the family had to sacrifice their TIME for that extra MONEY. Not that they're owed money.
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:23 PM   #83
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Where you're wrong is that I wasn't suggesting that kids should be paid for help. I am very "Andy Griffith" when it comes to raising my kids. What I was suggesting is that all we really have is time. As a man with a family, I have to choose how to allocate that time between my responsibilities. I see many people that, IN MY PERSONAL OPINION, pay too little regard to the TIME they invest in their kids. That TIME is used chasing money. I see it as the family had to sacrifice their TIME for that extra MONEY. Not that they're owed money.
Keep in mind, the OP is retired and cannot go back and change anything even if he wanted to. So, it's none of his kids business how they spend their retirement or money. They earned it the best way they could and deserve the respect of their kids to be able to spend it the way they want.
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:25 PM   #84
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Where you're wrong is that I wasn't suggesting that kids should be paid for help. I am very "Andy Griffith" when it comes to raising my kids. What I was suggesting is that all we really have is time. As a man with a family, I have to choose how to allocate that time between my responsibilities. I see many people that, IN MY PERSONAL OPINION, pay too little regard to the TIME they invest in their kids. That TIME is used chasing money. I see it as the family had to sacrifice their TIME for that extra MONEY. Not that they're owed money.
I see what you're saying.

Unfortunately we all do it to certain degrees and often without knowing it's happening.

I travel a lot. When I first took the job it was 50 nights out a year. Well, it crept up to 70, then I was working at night a lot, now it's going to be over 100 nights out this year.

Next thing I knew I'm barely seeing anyone because of work. I guess it's ok, they're 18 and 20 now but it sucks.
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:32 PM   #85
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I see what you're saying.

Unfortunately we all do it to certain degrees and often without knowing it's happening.

I travel a lot. When I first took the job it was 50 nights a year. Well, it crept up to 70, then I was working at night a lot, now it's going to be over 100 this year.

Next thing I knew I'm barely seeing anyone because of work. I guess it's ok, they're 18 and 20 now but it sucks.
I was like that. Out on the road every week Mon-Thu, sometimes Sun-Fri, then came the occasional 2 weeks....

But then I reached a point where I had had enough. Watching my son take his first step one weekend and having him run around the house the following weekend really opened my eyes to what I could possibly be missing. So I put in for a transfer, got out of the field and now I work from home. My hours are longer, I'm often putting in time at night when the kids are in bed, but I'd still do it in a heartbeat. The kids are at an age where they're starting to build their lifelong memories (3 & 4) and I want them to be able to look back on a happy childhood of dad being there for them, not Dad being gone all the time.

I grew up with a dad that worked 3 jobs to make ends meet and I don't have many memories of him growing up. Either he was gone to work or he was sleeping. I didn't want to do that to my kids.
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:44 PM   #86
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I was like that. Out on the road every week Mon-Thu, sometimes Sun-Fri, then came the occasional 2 weeks....

But then I reached a point where I had had enough. Watching my son take his first step one weekend and having him run around the house the following weekend really opened my eyes to what I could possibly be missing. So I put in for a transfer, got out of the field and now I work from home. My hours are longer, I'm often putting in time at night when the kids are in bed, but I'd still do it in a heartbeat. The kids are at an age where they're starting to build their lifelong memories (3 & 4) and I want them to be able to look back on a happy childhood of dad being there for them, not Dad being gone all the time.

I grew up with a dad that worked 3 jobs to make ends meet and I don't have many memories of him growing up. Either he was gone to work or he was sleeping. I didn't want to do that to my kids.
Good for you! It's been rough and I wouldn't have done it while they were little. I worked the schedule and went to nearly every game and all other school events. But missed a lot otherwise and it's caused lots of problems at home. That salary is nice, but it's an expensive thing to have.

I'm getting tired of playing the game and am considering working my options.
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Old 04-11-2014, 01:51 PM   #87
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Hah!!! Talk about making assumptions about people!!! Everyone that knows me would laugh at you calling me a liberal. :rollback:
Wow, never called you a liberal only your logic.

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You're putting words in my mouth when you assume I am arguing in favor of the OP's kids inheritance. I simply pointed out that the objecting party COULD be a little upset IF he/she had the type of parent that never spent time with them BECAUSE they wanted to amass a large amount of savings rather than spend time with them when they could.
If the OP stated that in the first place I could understand why you brought it up. There's a million stories in every family and you chose one and ran with it.

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There are worlds of people out there like this.
No doubt.

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I'm talking about those that value money over family.
No kidding.

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Did you invest time and money into your family and raise them to be productive, responsible citizens?
I tried my best.

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GREAT!!!
Thank you.

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In doing so you were still able to save and enjoy retirement? EVEN BETTER!!!!
That story hasn't been written yet, maybe in a few years. I'm supposed to save for retirement? Uh oh.

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I'm not pointing fingers here. Simply stating another point of view to consider.
I got it but when you started on this subject I thought to myself, "Where the $#@^ did that come from"? I had to read the first post again to see what I missed. Either way, I don't think we're on the same page. Cheers.
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Old 04-11-2014, 03:39 PM   #88
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I got it but when you started on this subject I thought to myself, "Where the $#@^ did that come from"? I had to read the first post again to see what I missed. Either way, I don't think we're on the same page. Cheers.
If you read my first post, I clearly stated I was going to play devil's advocate and throw out an alternate theory as a possible explanation of the attitude the OP was given. I never took anything and "ran with it".
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Old 04-11-2014, 03:45 PM   #89
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Keep in mind, the OP is retired and cannot go back and change anything even if he wanted to.
True.

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So, it's none of his kids business how they spend their retirement or money.

That's true, too.


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They earned it the best way they could and deserve the respect of their kids to be able to spend it the way they want.
This is an assumption. We have no idea how they earned it.
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Old 04-11-2014, 04:22 PM   #90
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This is an assumption. We have no idea how they earned it.
The assumption is only by you as I am sure they didn't steal it or by any other nefarious manner. How else would they earn it other than the best way they could?

I think you just want to be controversial. I'm out of here!
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