Please bear with me as I ramble through my thoughts.
The other day, during my prayer and meditation, the idea of traveling across country in a camper of some sort, once again popped into my brain. For the first time ever, I actually took the time to stop and really think about it. WHY do I feel this overwhelming sense of NEEDING to travel? Is it an addiction? I've never had the opportunity to travel much, what with work and child rearing, etc. But as I am getting older, that little gypsy in my heart is calling louder and louder.
That got me to thinking about addictions. I've never been addicted to anything, but have had family members with addictions. The drug addict wants the next hit or fix or whatever. The alcoholic feels like they can't cope without the next drink. Is it possible for me to be addicted to something that I haven't even experienced?
We've traveled some. Not much, as the boy and the dog HATE it!
But the boy is a junior in college now, and the dog is 8.5 years old (boxer). As much as I hate to think about either of them being gone, it won't be long now . . . and the road is calling me . . .
Then it suddenly hit me. (i believe God answers our questions in ways we can understand) The "perfect place" I'm searching for, the place that will be so perfect that I never want to leave, does not exist in this world. The longing, the calling to search and find that perfect place, is Heaven calling to my spirit. What I really want is to go "home". (home is heaven)
So there is nothing wrong with wanting to travel, but I should not expect to find what I'm looking for here. Coming to this conclusion has been such a revelation! I still want to travel and see the sights, but knowing that what I really want is to go home, takes the some of the air outta my tires, so to speak. It's kind of a relief, but kind of a let down. The relief is in knowing I don't have to sell everything I have and go live in a motorhome and travel the country. The let down is in knowing that I'm stuck here till God calls me home.
Anyhow. I guess this all this rambling was just for me. It helps me to get things out. This also gives you all a little insight into this crazy Z-Lady that is on your forums.
I would love it if you would share your thoughts.