1. Will I need a weight dist. hitch w/ sway control?...one salesman say no and a general manager at another dealer say yes...
I would listen to the GM first, but you haven't stated the tow rating on TV or what TV you have.
I can tell you with the old Tacoma towing 5K# Trailmanor 3326, sway on or off I never could tell. The lower profile makes the unit less suseptible to sway. However, I did not ever want to chance it.
2. Has anyone up-graded from the promo porta potty that comes with the camper to a fancier model?...which model is the luxurious one?...
My heart bleeds for you! I looked at A-frames and when I saw the bathroom all I saw was me walking the dogs at midnight on some freezing, rainy night when the pardette wanted a 'private moment.' Glad to see your pardette is more open to it. This issue alone sent me to Trailmanor.
Having a better bathroom is probably not all that important to guys, but easier to clean is. Truth is, I suspect you are the one that is going to have to do that job. Still better bathroom leads to better camping bliss, especially when someone is unwell.
You have not described what kind of camping you intend to do. Cassette systems or Thetford AquaMagic are very good at keep water usage to a minimum. The more you dry camp, the more important these things are.
Though one important point is that a number of people I know who dry camp tend to use the location's own bathroom facilities rather than their trailer's. That extends range and duration of stay. Just something to consider...