Sounds like you might need more washers in the head bolt. Also, drop the TT to the ball where it is just covering it with the tongue coupler. Then put on the bars before you put the weight on the truck That should keep it from squating the truck too much beforehand. If you need to adjust, just take the tongue weight back off, change the setup and put it back on.
TV: '06 Ram 1500 SLT QCSB Hemi 4x4
TT: '12 Grey Wolf 27BHKS
Tow Acc: Tekonsha P3 BC, Curt round bar WDH w/sway control, CIPA custom fit tow mirrors