A drunk in a confessional
A drunk walking home from the bar one evening finds himself in need of a restroom. He looks around and it appears every place is closed, then he see's a church a short distance ahead of him. He goes to the door and finds it unlocked and enters into the dimly lit church. He stumbles into a confessional booth where being quite dark he gropes around trying to figure out his surroundings. After a minute he hears some tapping on the wall next to him, to which he reply's " no use tapping on the wall, there's no toilet paper on this side either."
Of all the things I've lost in my life the thing I miss the most is my mind!