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Old 09-02-2012, 07:33 PM   #1
DDC
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A little humour goes a long way.

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and preceded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight," the boy replied.

The man continued, "do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied, "not exactly, but they aren't for me.

They're for him. He's my brother. He's four.

We saw on TV that if you use these you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either.Ē
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Old 09-02-2012, 07:36 PM   #2
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A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,
' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60;
perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be
silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his
wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful
your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing
your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it
off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your
seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns
to his wife and barks, ' WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband
always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


(I love this part)

'Only when he's been drinking.’
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