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04-17-2013, 02:14 PM
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#1
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Gravity challenged
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 87
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A Man's Age, as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot
A Man's Age, as Determined by a Trip to Home Depot
You are in the middle of a few projects at your home: putting in a new fence, painting the basement walls, putting in a new garden.You are hot and sweaty, covered in dust, lawn clippings, dirt and paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit -- shorts with the hole in the crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who-knows-what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of these projects you realize you need to run to Home Depot for supplies.
Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20s:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because, you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout line.
And yes, you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30s:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change your shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else.
Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell.
The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts.
Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brute is almost empty, so don't waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot.
Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing.
The hot young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird about thinking she's spicy.
In your 50s:
Stop what you are doing. Put on a hat. Wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog poop in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat.
The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember -- the hat you have on is from Bubba's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms '
In your 60s:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat any more. Hose the dog poop off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants.
The girl running the register may be cute but you don't have your glasses on, so you're not sure.
In your 70s:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready too. Don't even notice the dog poop on your shoes.
The young thing at the register stares at you and you realize the boys are hanging out of the hole in your crotch.
In your 80s:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you need to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead.
You went to school with the old lady greeter.
You wander around trying to remember what you are looking for. Then you fart out loud and think someone called your name.
In your 90s & beyond:
What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this?
Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?
__________________
Jim & Susan
2017 Flagstaff 832OKBS - Days camped 2022: 35
2013 Silverado 2500HD LTZ Duramax
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. - Thomas Henry Huxley
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04-17-2013, 03:02 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 744
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hmmmmm, did that today....can't remember what age I am tho'.
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04-17-2013, 03:02 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 702
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cute~~~
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04-17-2013, 03:05 PM
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#4
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Graduate Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Columbia, MO
Posts: 508
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holy crap I'm 80!
__________________
--2009 Sunseeker 2860DS (Class C)
- one Hotwife, and two boys under 2(with one on the way!)
2013 - 53 days 2012 - 26 days
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04-17-2013, 07:07 PM
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#5
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Now a "Top Member"
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Roman Forest, TX
Posts: 4,352
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Sheesh...I was laughing so hard by the end of it I started crying!
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Ed and Sharon
2010 Wildcat 28RKBS
2019 Ford F-250 XLT - AWESOME Truck!
Retired AF MSgt
I thought I was wrong once, but I was wrong!
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04-17-2013, 07:14 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 13,738
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Good one!
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04-17-2013, 07:23 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Central, Fl.
Posts: 1,330
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Lol...good stuff!
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2018 Forester 3011DS (Purchased 04/26/17)
2010 Flagstaff 26 RLSS (Sold 05/16)
2012 Ford F-150 Ecoboost, Screw, H/D, 3.73
1930 lbs CCC
2014 Jeep Rubicon JK
Going where the weather suits my clothes.
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04-17-2013, 07:33 PM
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#8
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Resident Masshole
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Southeastern MA
Posts: 433
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That was funny. Right up until I realized I'm acting WAY older than I really am lol
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04-18-2013, 06:07 AM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 662
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Aww crap, I'm somewhere between 70's and 80's but I'm only 47......
*edit:
After reading my own post again it just hit home that I'm 47 years old.......how the heck did that happen?
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2011 Flagstaff Classic Superlight 831RLBSS "Atrium slide"
Husky Centerline Hitch
2016 Ford F-150 EcoBoost SuperCrew, Lariat Sport, Max Tow package
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04-18-2013, 06:41 AM
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#10
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Shenandoah Valley of Virginia
Posts: 9,280
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Hmmmm, my age of 60 and the description of 60s seem to be pretty close.
__________________
Chap , DW Joy, and Fur Baby Sango
2017 F350 Lariat CCSB, SRW, 4x4, 6.7 PS
2017 Grand Design Reflection 337RLS
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04-18-2013, 06:46 AM
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#11
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Camper Less Camping
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: NW
Posts: 3,642
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Too Funny!
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2013 Sabre 32RCTS-6 (sold)
Family of 4 whose always on the GEAUX!
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04-18-2013, 08:38 AM
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#12
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Phat Phrog Physician
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pensacola, FL
Posts: 252
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__________________
Ron, Amber & Jordan
2011 RAM 3500 DRW/CC/LB Longhorn 3.73
2014 Sabre 35QSIK-6 Platinum Edition
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04-18-2013, 09:27 AM
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#13
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MI Camperz
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 1,640
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Very Accurate. I use hats for hairdos and make no excuses for dirty clothes from working outside/around the house. I especially love it when they get paint on them or bleach splotches. Bonus if Both!! Middle-aged Tye Die
is how I think of it. My favorite pair:
No. They are not for sale, sorry!
__________________
MI Camperz
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04-18-2013, 09:37 AM
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#14
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Lexington, NC
Posts: 2,621
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Who farted?
__________________
2018 Coachmen Apex 249 RBS
2010 Silverado LT 5.3 V8
The world is a great book, of which those who never stir from home
read only a page. - St. Augustine
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04-18-2013, 09:46 AM
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#15
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Gruene, TX.
Posts: 343
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mjones12
Who farted?
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Mighta been me. But I forget...
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Scratch sends...
'12 nights camped: 12
'13 nights camped: 24
'14 nights camped:
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04-18-2013, 09:52 AM
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#16
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Phat Phrog
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 6,854
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bodzcampers
Very Accurate. I use hats for hairdos and make no excuses for dirty clothes from working outside/around the house. I especially love it when they get paint on them or bleach splotches. Bonus if Both!! Middle-aged Tye Die
is how I think of it. My favorite pair:
No. They are not for sale, sorry!
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Here here Bodz!!! I have a shirt that has the paint and bleach!! Love to wear it when working outside! I like to check out all the people when in Home Depot, to see who is in the middle of a project and had to make a run to the store!!
__________________
Kenny n Karen
TV: 2017 Chevy Silverado 3500 LTZ - named Betty
RV: 2017 Columbus 366RL - named Karen’s Camper
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04-18-2013, 10:10 AM
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#17
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Gravity challenged
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 87
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RVChick
Here here Bodz!!! I have a shirt that has the paint and bleach!! Love to wear it when working outside! I like to check out all the people when in Home Depot, to see who is in the middle of a project and had to make a run to the store!!
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I have a pair of shorts that the DW affectionately refers to as "those d@mn shorts". I've even been known to wear them to the mall on occasion.
I can tell you which project created which stain/tear/rip. Of course the blood stains are from any project I tackle.
My father used to tell me "Son, just grab the nearest tool and whack your knuckles just to get the inevitable blood letting out of the way".
__________________
Jim & Susan
2017 Flagstaff 832OKBS - Days camped 2022: 35
2013 Silverado 2500HD LTZ Duramax
Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. - Thomas Henry Huxley
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04-18-2013, 10:12 AM
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#18
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Phat Phrog
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 6,854
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob_Loblaw
I have a pair of shorts that the DW affectionately refers to as "those d@mn shorts". I've even been known to wear them to the mall on occasion.
I can tell you which project created which stain/tear/rip. Of course the blood stains are from any project I tackle.
My father used to tell me "Son, just grab the nearest tool and whack your knuckles just to get the inevitable blood letting out of the way".
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Your dad sounds like a wise man!! So funny! I mostly have paint stains on mine...I can tell you which room the paint came from!! I don't do blood though...time to quit if it bites me.....just sayin!
__________________
Kenny n Karen
TV: 2017 Chevy Silverado 3500 LTZ - named Betty
RV: 2017 Columbus 366RL - named Karen’s Camper
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