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Old 01-14-2013, 11:49 AM   #1
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A retiree's last trip to walmart

This is a little more politically-correct version of something Bear posted back in 2006. Most of us probably hadn't seen that one anyway.

Yesterday I was at my local Walmart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Morgan, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to relieve myself at a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was Laughing so hard. Walmart won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say. Forward this (especially) to all your retired will be their laugh for the day!

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Old 01-14-2013, 12:20 PM   #2
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:00 PM   #3
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Read it before and it's still funny as can be. Thanks for the chuckle.

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Old 01-14-2013, 02:19 PM   #4
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--2009 Sunseeker 2860DS (Class C)
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Old 01-14-2013, 03:37 PM   #5
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If only I could be so quick witted. :-)
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