Alert!!

[Bear]

ALERT!!
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this was included
with the product information.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now
launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other
system activity.
Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Golf 7.5, and
Motorcycling 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my favorite applications.
I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall
doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!!!!!!

REPLY
Dear Troubled User:
This is due to a very common problem that generates many complaints. It
is due to a primary misconception generally by male users. Many people
upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is merely a
Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and
is designed by its creator to run everything! It is also impossible to
delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating systems
files cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It
is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the
system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife
1.0 is designed to disallow this.
Some have tried Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems
than in the original system. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
"Warnings-Alimony/Child Support."
I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.
I suggest installing the background application "C:\YES DEAR" to
alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I
also suggest that you read the entire section regarding "General
Partnership Faults (GPFs)." You must assume all responsibility for any
faults and problems that occur, regardless of their cause. You will also
find that GPF's are cyclical. The best course of action is to enter the
command "C:\APOLOGIZE". Avoid excessive use of "C:\YES DEAR" because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep
3.0, CookIt 1.5 (which replaces BurnIt 1.0), Trash 4.0, and Do Bills
4.2. You must, however, be very careful how you use these programs.
Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5.
Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0
is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds
5.0 should this happen.
WARNING!!!!!
DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryShortSkirt 3.3. This
application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.

[gate33]

thats a good one i just sent it to girlfreinds 1.4 and 2.6