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Old 01-29-2014, 05:21 PM   #1
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Location: South Jordan, Utah
Posts: 349
An oldie, but after last night??

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote
mountainous pasture in Montana when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward
him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci
shoes, RayBanR sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the
cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your
herd, will you give me a calf?"

Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie,
then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell
notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZ V3 cell phone, and
surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to
get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA
satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe
Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg,
Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm
Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then
accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet
with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report
on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and
says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my
calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals
and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his

Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell
you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then
says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how
did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You
showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an
answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of
dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or
about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog.


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Old 02-06-2014, 08:32 AM   #2
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Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 875
That is an oldie. What's a Palm Pilot?

2011 PrimeTime Tracer 2600rls
2001 GMC Yukon XL 2500, 6.0L 4.10:1 axle ratio
Nights camping 2014 - 17
2013 - 15
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Old 02-06-2014, 08:38 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Arefbee View Post
That is an oldie. What's a Palm Pilot?
It is a Verizon phone that I use that is now obsolete, but has a hot spot built in and free unlimited data.
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Old 02-06-2014, 08:45 AM   #4
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Location: South Jordan, Utah
Posts: 349
You got to understand I posted this the morning after the State of the Union speech.
(It was the only joke I could remember that would pass the no politics rule
Thank God for Free Speech!
Just remember you "Get What You Pay For"
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