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Old 01-31-2013, 02:14 PM   #1
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army pilots

One day, while an Army Helicopter Pilot was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"**
The officer replied that his axe had fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.**
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.**
The pilot replied, "No."**
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.**
Again, the Army Helicopter Pilot replied, "No."**
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.**
The Army Helicopter Pilot, "Yes."**
The Lord was pleased with the Army Helicopter Pilot honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the pilot went home happy.**
Some time later the Army Helicopter Pilot was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"**
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"**
The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE.* "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.**
"Yes," cried the Army Helicopter Pilot.**
The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"**
The pilot replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my* wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.**
Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to**ANGELINA JOLIE ."**
The moral of this story is: Whenever an Army Helicopter Pilot lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.**
That's our story, and we're sticking to it! -


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Old 01-31-2013, 02:53 PM   #2
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Originally Posted by f1100turbo View Post

Yes they are. You know, it's a LOUsy thing that we don't have any retired HerKules pilots around here who might appreciate this joke below:

A couple of F-15's are escorting a C-130 Hercules, and their pilots are chatting with the pilot of the transport to pass the time. Talk comes ‘round to the relative merits of their respective aircraft. Of course the fighter pilots contend that their airplanes were better because of their superior speed, maneuverability, weaponry, and so forth, while the putting down the Herc’s deficiencies in these areas.

After taking this for a while, the C-130 pilot says, "Oh yeah? Well, I can do a few things in this old girl that you'd only dream about."

Naturally, the fighter jocks challenge him to demonstrate.

"Just watch," comes the quick retort.

And so they watch. But all they see is that C-130 continuing to fly straight and level..

After several minutes the Herc pilot comes back on the air, saying "There! How was that?"

Not having seen anything, the fighter pilots reply, "What are you talking about? What did you do?"

And the Herc pilot replies, "Well, I got up, stretched my legs, got a cup of coffee, then went back and took a leak."

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I've just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.... I will keep you posted.
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Old 01-31-2013, 02:57 PM   #3
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Old 01-31-2013, 03:02 PM   #4
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Both are hilarious !!!!! made me laugh really hard !

My sister inlaws's brother is an army pilot, he flies Sikorskys for a living ... I was going to get a free ride one day but they had an alarm at the base and it did not happen
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