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Old 10-18-2008, 12:15 AM   #1
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Bear's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Medicine Hat, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 299
Banned from Wal-Mart

Found this on another site

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. XXXXXX,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video
surveillance cameras.

1. J une 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in

people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the anti-depressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least .

15. October 26: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Tom Richards
Walmart Manager


2000 Volvo 660 D12 425 hp 1550 torque 15 speed, Trailer Saver air ride hitch. 2006 Canadian Sport 385 RLTS 40'10" triple slide, triple axle 5'er toybox, 300 watts solar, 3000 watt inverter, Onan 5500 Marques Platnum. 1998 Polaris 300 Explorer 4X4 quad, 2003 Polaris 700 Sportsman 4X4 quad, 1994 Jeep YJ "TOAD" 3" lift 31" ProComp Mud Terrain tires

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Old 10-18-2008, 09:31 PM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: homebase Quitman Texas at Lake Fork
Posts: 1,388
yes sir
thats a good one
i love the setting of alarm clocks
i set all the radios to odd ball stations
Living in the Piney Woods of Texas.
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