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Old 12-12-2013, 12:07 PM   #1
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Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris is so bad...

The boogie man looks under his bed at night to see if Chuck is under there...
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Old 12-12-2013, 12:09 PM   #2
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Chuck Norris was asked in an interview...

I heard you got bitten by a king cobra???

Yes... and after three days of agonizing pain... the cobra died
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Old 12-12-2013, 12:23 PM   #3
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Chuck Norris has taught his dog to fetch a ball...and speak English.


Sasquatch once found a Chuck Norris footprint.

When Chuck Norris was 6, he had a pet lizard, fish, and monkey. They are now known as Godzilla, Jaws, and King Kong.

Chuck Norris calculated the Formula 1.

Chuck Norris can make ballons out of animals.

Chuck Norris can make a smoothie without a blender.

On Mothers Day, Chuck Norris's mother gives Chuck Norris a gift.


Whenever Chuck Norris wields a sword, it is mightier than a pen.

Chuck Norris flew a paper airplane... to the moon.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
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Old 12-12-2013, 12:25 PM   #4
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The Hulk and Chuck Norris once arm wrestled, the loser had to paint themselves green.
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Old 12-12-2013, 01:07 PM   #5
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Sasquatch once found a Chuck Norris footprint.
Chuck Norris can make balloons out of animals.
Chuck Norris can make a smoothie without a blender
Chuck Norris flew a paper airplane... to the moon
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest
Chuck Norris once went to mars. Thats why there is no signs of life.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
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Old 12-12-2013, 01:48 PM   #6
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Sharks have Chuck Norris week.
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Old 12-12-2013, 01:50 PM   #7
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Chuck Norris was born May,6 1945. Nazi Germany surrendered May,7 1945. Coincidence? I think not.
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Old 12-12-2013, 02:09 PM   #8
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OK here's two more making the rounds at the office...

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Old 12-12-2013, 02:12 PM   #9
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Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris once ran an entire marathon backwards...so that he could see what second place looks like.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can kick himself in the back of his head.

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver. He won.

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.
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Old 12-12-2013, 04:02 PM   #10
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Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who prefers Dos Equis isn't that interesting.
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