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Old 08-24-2014, 12:48 AM   #11
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Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the world down.
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Old 08-24-2014, 01:15 AM   #12
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Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead, it's just afraid to move.

The original name for Alien vs predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after production began because nobody would pay $9 to see a movie 14 seconds long.


Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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Old 08-24-2014, 05:33 AM   #13
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Chuck Norris can make apple juice with oranges.

America didn't win the American Revolution. Chuck Norris beat the British by himself, Drunk.

Chuck Norris can hit a homerun with a toothpick.

Chuck Norris has braille on his boots so even blind people know when it's coming.

Mike Tyson chipped a tooth on Chuck Norris' ear.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris won the NBA 3 point competition with his hands in his pockets.

Chuck Norris once sold eBay to eBay on eBay.

There is only one safe place to hide from Chuck Norris.. in a bodybag.

Chuck Norris gives the sun cancer.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a horse in the jaw....... Its descendants are now known as giraffes.


Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky
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Old 08-24-2014, 08:14 AM   #14
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Chuck Norris is so bad Heaven Don't Want Him
And Hell's Afraid He'll Take Over.


Started Out With Nothing,
Still Have Most Of It Left!
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Old 08-25-2014, 01:59 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrier View Post
Really want to steal this one.
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Old 08-25-2014, 08:44 AM   #16
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[QUOTE=Iwannacamp;684790]Neil Armstrong was the first to walk on the moon. Chuck Norris was the first to walk on the Sun.

Yes, but he went there at night!
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Old 08-25-2014, 06:58 PM   #17
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Bigfoot takes blurry pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Old 08-25-2014, 07:10 PM   #18
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OORAH!
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Old 08-25-2014, 11:50 PM   #19
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Our favorites:
Chuck Norris can cut through a knife with butter.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity-twice
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding all the time.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris starts his fires by rubbing icicles together.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.


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Old 08-04-2015, 03:55 AM   #20
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Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby.
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki.
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