Cinderella sits at home, grudgingly performing the chores given to her by her Stepmother before she and her wicked Stepsisters took off for the Ball.
After a while, in pops her Fairy Godmother who says "Cinderella! I can give you three wishes, anything you want, all you have to do is ask."
Cinderella thinks for a bit and says "Fairy Godmother, I wish to go to the Ball, but look at me... I'm wearing this filthy house dress, all covered in soot. For my 1st wish, I want to look beautiful!"
Fairy Godmother waves her magic wand and *poof*, Cinderella's house dress transforms into an elegant ball gown, her hair and make-up are perfect.
Fairy Godmother says "You have two wishes left, anything you want, all you have to do is ask."
Cinderella thinks a bit more and says "I'll need to get to the ball, so for my 2nd wish I want a carriage!"
Fairy Godmother waves her magic wand and *poof*, outside the cottage is a beautiful carriage, complete with eight horses, 2 footmen and a driver.
Fairy Godmother then says "You have one wish left, anything you want, all you have to do is ask."
Cinderella thinks for a long while, smiles, and then says "Fairy Godmother, I look damn good in these threads and have a sweet ride at my disposal, I might get lucky tonight! So, for my 3rd wish I want a diaphragm."
Fairy Godmother, looking shocked, says "A diaphragm!!!"
Cinderella retorts "Yup, a diaphragm. Don't want any "parting gifts" from tonight's adventure!"
Fairy Godmother gives her magic wand a huge wave and *poof*. "A diaphragm you have" she says, "It's in place, ready to go, but I must warn you... at the stroke of midnight... if you haven't returned home... that diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin!"
Cinderella nods, smiles at her then flies out the door, climbs into her carriage and heads off to the Ball, leaving Fairy Godmother at home, waiting nervously.
Midnight chimes... no Cinderella. 1:00 AM, no Cinderella. 2:00 AM, Cinderella is nowhere to be found! Fairy Godmother starts to freak!
2:30 AM, the door swings open, there's Cinderella standing there...
Her dress is all torn and filthy.
Her hair is tossed about and tangled.
Her make-up is all smeared, but...
She has this huge smile on her face...
Fairy Godmother sees her and cries out "Cinderella, I told you to be home by midnight or that diaphragm turns into a pumpkin!!!"
Cinderella says "I know, Fairy Godmother, but I met this guy... his name was Peter Peter."
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