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01-14-2016, 10:54 AM
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#21
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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I've just upgraded to Directv HD.
I'm impressed.
The phrase 'No satellite signal' has never been so colorful and clear.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-14-2016, 11:03 AM
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#22
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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I've got a smartphone, with a dumb battery.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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01-21-2016, 09:23 PM
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#23
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis.
Then they gave me hypodermics.
Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis.
I completely lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis.
I don't know how I pulled through it..
It was the hardest spelling test I've ever had.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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02-07-2016, 05:20 PM
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#24
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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A new report has concluded that dog owners are more outgoing than cat owners.
Hardly surprising. You have to take a dog for walks.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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02-07-2016, 05:50 PM
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#25
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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A man decides to join a monastery where they're only allowed to say 2 words every 10 yrs.
10 yrs go by and they have a big dinner and the man stands up and says, "Bed hard" and sits down.
Another 10 yrs go by, they have a big dinner, the man stands up and says, "Food bad" and sits down.
Another 10 yrs go by, they have a big dinner, the man stands up and says, "I quit," and sits down.
The head monk stands up and says, "Well, I'm not surprised. All you've done since you got here is complain!"
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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04-07-2016, 04:17 PM
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#26
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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I met a genie today who granted me one wish.
"I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine," I said, "I want to die when the Chicago Cubs win the World Series again."
"You're a sly devil!" said the genie.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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04-08-2016, 09:57 AM
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#27
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Site Team
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Northen IL
Posts: 8,329
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wmtire
I met a genie today who granted me one wish.
"I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."
"Fine," I said, "I want to die when the Chicago Cubs win the World Series again."
"You're a sly devil!" said the genie.
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04-09-2016, 08:50 AM
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#28
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Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
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And I thought it was the Goat All This Time
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
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04-30-2016, 09:27 AM
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#29
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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I can't help being lazy.
It walks in the family.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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05-15-2016, 11:07 AM
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#30
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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I see that software legend Photoshop is turning 26 this year.
Actually, it's turning 42.
It just looks 26.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-01-2016, 12:16 PM
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#31
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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Purple is my favorite color. I like it more than blue and red combined.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-13-2016, 10:24 AM
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#32
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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You know when you're grilling a steak and your mouth waters because you can't wait to eat it............ I wonder if vegans get the same feeling when they mow their lawns?
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-13-2016, 10:38 AM
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#33
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 454
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How can you identify someone who's a dyslexic insomniac agnostic?
He's the one staying up all night wondering if there's a dog
__________________
2015 Rockwood Signature UltraLite 8281WS
2016 Ford F-250 Lariat CrewCab, 4x4, 6.2L V8
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06-18-2016, 05:13 PM
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#34
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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I'd tell you a great time travel joke....
but you didn't like it.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-20-2016, 06:50 PM
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#35
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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You can never lose a homing pigeon – if your homing pigeon doesn’t come back what you’ve lost is a pigeon.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-20-2016, 07:00 PM
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#36
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-20-2016, 07:01 PM
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#37
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-20-2016, 07:01 PM
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#38
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet – you can hide, but you can’t run.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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06-20-2016, 07:03 PM
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#39
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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I had a neck brace fitted years ago and I’ve never looked back since.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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07-10-2016, 07:04 PM
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#40
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,954
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My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony.
I was born ready.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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