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Old 06-01-2016, 01:16 PM   #31
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Purple is my favorite color. I like it more than blue and red combined.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-13-2016, 11:24 AM   #32
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You know when you're grilling a steak and your mouth waters because you can't wait to eat it............ I wonder if vegans get the same feeling when they mow their lawns?
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-13-2016, 11:38 AM   #33
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How can you identify someone who's a dyslexic insomniac agnostic?

He's the one staying up all night wondering if there's a dog
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Old 06-18-2016, 06:13 PM   #34
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I'd tell you a great time travel joke....

but you didn't like it.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-20-2016, 07:50 PM   #35
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You can never lose a homing pigeon Ė if your homing pigeon doesnít come back what youíve lost is a pigeon.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-20-2016, 08:00 PM   #36
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Donít you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-20-2016, 08:01 PM   #37
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Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-20-2016, 08:01 PM   #38
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To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet Ė you can hide, but you canít run.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-20-2016, 08:03 PM   #39
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I had a neck brace fitted years ago and Iíve never looked back since.
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Old 07-10-2016, 08:04 PM   #40
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My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony.

I was born ready.
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