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Old 07-10-2016, 08:05 PM   #41
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My only talent is sleeping.

I could do it with my eyes closed.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 08-08-2016, 08:23 AM   #42
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"Please don't lead me into temptation. I can find it all by my self."
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Old 08-29-2016, 01:03 PM   #43
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I've created a shoe made out of Lego, so when you step on Lego it doesn't hurt.

You just get taller.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 08-30-2016, 12:54 AM   #44
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Yes, I drink a lot of brake fluid. But I can stop anytime!
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Old 09-02-2016, 09:25 AM   #45
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Point to ponder:

Does a Transformer need car insurance or life insurance?
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 09-02-2016, 09:36 AM   #46
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Why can't your nose be 12" long?


Cause then it'd be a foot!
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Old 09-02-2016, 09:37 AM   #47
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What do you call a bear with no socks?

Bear Foot!
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Old 09-02-2016, 09:38 AM   #48
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Why does the porcupine always win any game he plays?

He has more points!
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Winter :'(
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Old 09-02-2016, 10:33 AM   #49
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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?

Because the "p" is silent.
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Old 09-02-2016, 10:34 AM   #50
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What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

A hippo is quite heavy. A Zippo is a little lighter.
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