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11-23-2016, 03:27 PM
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#101
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,736
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If snow is made of water and water has no calories, how come snowmen are fat?
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-23-2016, 04:08 PM
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#102
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Chicago
Posts: 282
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Did you hear about the dyslexic who walked into a bra?
__________________
2009 FreeLander - Retired
2015 FR3 30DS - Retired
2023 Sunseeker 2440DS
Towing 2016 Chevy Sonic LT
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11-23-2016, 04:24 PM
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#103
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TLAK
Did you hear about the dyslexic who walked into a bra?
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No.
But I DID hear about the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac. He'd lie awake every night, worrying; "What if there really was a dog?"
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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11-23-2016, 04:25 PM
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#104
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,736
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I'm at a point in my life where enjoying lots of bars just means good phone signal.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-23-2016, 04:49 PM
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#105
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Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
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When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
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11-23-2016, 04:50 PM
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#106
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Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
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I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
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11-23-2016, 04:52 PM
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#107
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,736
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I've always been into collecting things. As a kid it was baseball cards. As a teen it was comic books. As an adult, it's debt.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-23-2016, 04:56 PM
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#108
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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11-23-2016, 04:57 PM
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#109
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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11-23-2016, 04:58 PM
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#110
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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11-23-2016, 04:58 PM
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#111
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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11-23-2016, 04:59 PM
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#112
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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11-23-2016, 05:00 PM
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#113
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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11-23-2016, 05:01 PM
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#114
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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11-23-2016, 05:04 PM
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#115
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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11-23-2016, 05:04 PM
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#116
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Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
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Two dogs are walking down the street, one says, "Wait a minute" and then crosses the road. He sniffs around a fire hydrant and returns. The other dog says, "What was that all about?" The first dog replies, "Just checking my messages!"
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
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11-23-2016, 05:05 PM
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#117
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,736
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My doctor told me that I really needed to watch my drinking...so I found a bar with a mirror.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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11-23-2016, 05:05 PM
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#118
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor".
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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11-23-2016, 05:05 PM
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#119
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Site Team
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: top side land of Lincoln
Posts: 7,509
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iwannacamp
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
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ok that one made me laugh out loud
__________________
2014 LaCrosse 323RST-TE-C
2009 Chevy 2500HD Z71
Seasonal
Zelda the campin dog
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11-23-2016, 05:06 PM
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#120
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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There are two rules for success: 1) Don't tell all you know.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas
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