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Old 09-25-2016, 07:05 PM   #61
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Do fish that get thrown back to sea, talk about alien abductions and then all the fish stop talking to it?
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 09-25-2016, 07:10 PM   #62
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Every time you exercise, you're gambling that you'll injure yourself just enough to grow back stronger.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 09-25-2016, 07:11 PM   #63
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I wonder if dogs and cats know they were kidnapped from their parents
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Old 09-25-2016, 07:15 PM   #64
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Rolled up newspapers are a spiders greatest fear. It's kinda ironic that Peter Parker works at the Daily Bugle.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 09-25-2016, 07:17 PM   #65
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Most items we purchase with our drivers license impair our ability to drive.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 09-25-2016, 08:01 PM   #66
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I know more about the fictional planets Tatooine, Dagobah, Alderaan and Hoth than I do about the real planets Jupiter, Neptune, Mercury and Saturn.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 10-03-2016, 10:28 AM   #67
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My new book I wrote on Poltergeists is flying off the shelves.
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Old 10-05-2016, 10:09 PM   #68
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A man from the ASPCA knocked on my door this morning.

He said, "We've had a complaint that you've been overfeeding your cat. Apparently it weighs the best part of 30 pounds."

I said, "It's not a cat."

"Oh" he replied, "There must be a mistake then, is it a dog?"

I said, "No, it's a hamster."
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Old 10-06-2016, 01:46 AM   #69
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If one synchronized swimmer drowns does the rest of the team have to drown also?
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Old 10-10-2016, 09:54 AM   #70
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The government says that doing drugs causes memory loss

That's nonsense, next thing they will say is doing drugs causes memory loss
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