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09-06-2018, 04:45 PM
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#561
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"
What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.
Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the physco path.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas 
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09-06-2018, 05:08 PM
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#562
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,173
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TitanMike
My Dad always told me:
Never start vast projects with half-vast ideas.
[emoji16]
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I’m of the opinion, why start today, if she’s just gonna change her mind next week? 
__________________
There's no use crying over spilt milk... unless it's on your keyboard.
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09-07-2018, 12:16 AM
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#563
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 5,061
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaadk
I’m of the opinion, why start today, if she’s just gonna change her mind next week? |
This one is in the wrong thread... 
__________________
Al
I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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09-07-2018, 08:39 AM
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#564
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RV There Yet?
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Winona, MN
Posts: 1,141
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what is a pirates favorite letter? you think it would be ARGH, but its really the SEA!
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09-11-2018, 11:16 PM
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#565
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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Wanna make a car dealer really uncomfortable?
Just say "Tell me if you can you hear this." Then get in the trunk and start screaming.
__________________
 2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-12-2018, 10:00 AM
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#566
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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Tonight I’m gonna have Himalayan possum soup, because I found Himalayan on the road.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-14-2018, 03:55 PM
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#567
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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When I was a kid I was made to walk the plank.
We couldn't afford a dog.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-15-2018, 07:14 AM
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#568
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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Working at a hospital is the worst, cause you can't call in sick.
You: "Yeah, I can't come in today, I'm sick."
Boss: "Come on in, we'll check you out."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-15-2018, 07:15 AM
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#569
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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Stupid doctors orders. I'm due in court next week for doing exactly as he said.
Taking something for my kleptomania.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-15-2018, 07:16 AM
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#570
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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I have just found a photo of myself in the ring back when I was a boxer.
If you turn it sideways it looks as if I'm standing up!
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-15-2018, 07:19 AM
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#571
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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My friend set up a booth selling fake protective eye glasses during the last solar eclipse.
I said "weren't you worried they would realize they were fake and come after you?"
He said "nah, they won't ever see me again."
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-19-2018, 08:24 AM
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#572
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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The man who invented the word search has died his funeral is...
T T I S P V G K M P
H J G U O N Q U X
N M O N D A Y S Z
B A T K T E N O P G
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-19-2018, 08:58 AM
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#573
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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Being totally worthless with anything related to Do-it-yourself, my whole family was completely shocked when I rewired the house!
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-19-2018, 08:59 AM
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#574
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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I've been sitting, drinking and thinking.
Everything in the universe is made of whisky or not made of whisky.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-19-2018, 09:00 AM
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#575
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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I've just bought some state of the art garden shears.
They're the latest in cutting hedge technology.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-21-2018, 08:23 AM
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#576
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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I really admire people who keep going even though they are in huge amounts of debt.
They deserve a lot of credit
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-21-2018, 08:26 AM
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#577
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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Regret is a useless emotion. I wish I’d known that a long time ago.
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-21-2018, 11:47 AM
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#578
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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My buddy has invented a simple process for space travel using boogers as fuel.
It's snot rocket science
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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09-22-2018, 08:52 AM
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#579
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 10,907
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Was at my son's the other day and asked him for the newspaper.
"Dad , its time for you to join the 21st Century. No one reads the paper anymore . Here, use my new iPad"
Have to admit he was right. Those two flies never knew what hit them.
__________________
1988 Coleman Sequoia - popup (1987-2009) - outlasted 3 Dodge Grand Caravans!
2012 Roo19 - hybrid (2012-2015)
2016 Mini Lite 2503S - tt (2015 - ???)
2011 Traverse LT, 3.6L, FWD
2009 Silverado 1500 Ext Cab, 5.3L, 4x4, 3.73
2016 Silverado 2500HD Dbl Cab, 6.0L 4x4, 4.10
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09-24-2018, 09:13 AM
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#580
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Site Team
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 33,960
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This is probably the whiskey talking..but I don't think I should be flying this plane!
__________________
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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