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Old 08-12-2015, 06:44 PM   #1
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cute joke(s)

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan...
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 08-12-2015, 06:58 PM   #2
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Ok, Ok, Now I'm ready for my lobotomy. Might as do it while I am smiling...

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Old 08-18-2015, 01:57 PM   #3
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An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth."

Reflecting on his life, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom."

"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff.

The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
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Old 08-18-2015, 02:00 PM   #4
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"Violence is not the answer" we've all heard that.

But what if the question is "what is not the answer?"
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 08-18-2015, 02:20 PM   #5
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Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
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Old 08-19-2015, 03:33 AM   #6
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I went to an imaginary restaurant the other day..... CGI Fridays
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Old 08-20-2015, 11:57 AM   #7
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"What would you like?" says the bartender.

"What would I like?" says Bob. "A bigger house, more money and a more attractive wife."

"No," says the bartender, patiently. "I meant what do you want?"

"To win the lottery, for my mother-in-law to die and for my child to be born healthy!"

"What's it to be?" says the bartender, less patiently.

"A boy or a girl, I don't care."

"You misunderstand me," says the barman, impatiently, "I only asked what you want to drink."

"Oh," says Bob, "I see. Why didn't you say so? What have you got?"

"Nothing at all," says the bartender. "I'm perfectly healthy."
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Old 08-20-2015, 11:59 AM   #8
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"I want to be a millionaire. Just like my dad!"

"Wow, your dad's a millionaire?"

"No, but he always wanted to be."
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Old 08-29-2015, 09:09 AM   #9
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The neighbors dogs woke me up last night barking loudly.

So I threw my shoes out of the window at them and that shut them up.

It was a pair of hush puppies.
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Old 09-04-2015, 09:17 AM   #10
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I've seen a bear open a door, climb a ladder, play a horn and ride a bike but I still don't believe it can make porridge.
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