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Old 02-22-2013, 07:29 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Concord, NC
Posts: 23,881
Definitely not a blonde.

Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman: Betcha the lying jerk told you I was speeding too.

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Old 03-01-2013, 10:12 AM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 11,045
Did you hear about the blonde who tried to kill herself?

She jumped out a basement window!

2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS

I used to be addicted to time travel, but that's all in the past now.
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Old 03-01-2013, 10:14 AM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 34,205
Originally Posted by wmtire View Post
Did you hear about the blonde who tried to kill herself?

She jumped out a basement window!
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Old 03-02-2013, 02:31 AM   #4
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 8,377
Don't get me started....

Why does a blonde write TGIF on her shoes? Toes go in first.
What do you call 3 blondes in the freezer? Frosted flakes.
How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.

The list goes on. A sad but true story. When I was younger I got my hair hi-lighted blonde. I left the salon and stopped to get gas at a convenience store/gas station I had previously worked at during my college winter break. I suddenly couldn't figure out how to operate the stupid gas pump. That was when I decided going blonde was a mistake.
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