On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates, and suitcases.
On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things.
On the third day, he sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table by candle-light. He put on some soft background music, and feasted on 5 lbs of shrimp, a 3 lb jar of caviar, and a bottle of champagne.
When he finished, he went into each and every room with the remaining shrimp and the used shells and dipped them in the left over caviar. He then forced this concoction into hollow center of all the curtain rods.
He then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
On the fourth day, the wife came back with her new boyfriend, and at first all was bliss.
Then the house started to smell.
They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.
Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.
Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked! People stopped coming over to visit.
Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they couldn't take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move, but a month later, even though they'd cut their price in half, they couldn't find a buyer for such a stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
Then the ex husband called the woman and asked how things were going. She told him the saga of the rotting house. He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and if she would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement he would buy the house.
Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but he would have to sign the papers that very day and give up any and all claims for current and future defects with the house.
He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.
A day later the woman and her boyfriend stood smiling and laughing as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.
And just to spite the ex-husband, they even took the curtain rods !!!
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU...?