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Old 02-15-2014, 08:46 PM   #1
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Concord, NC
Posts: 23,918
Don't know if fact or fiction, but some are hilarious

Actual call center conversations!

Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?'
Operator:�'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.'
Operator:�'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'

Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator:�'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator:�'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'

RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?'
Operator:�'Does the policy name give you a clue?'

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'
Operator:�'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'

Then there was the caller who called Scotland information and asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator:�'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes.. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in Scotland ...'

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen,
so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'

Tech Support:�'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer: 'OK..'
Tech Support:�'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support:�'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No.'
Tech Support:�'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

Tech Support:�'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So,
if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'

This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired.
This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.
Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator:�'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect ..'
Operator:�'What sort of trouble?'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator:�'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared'
Operator:�'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator:�'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator:�'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator:�'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type..'
Operator:�'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator:�'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Opera tor:�'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall..
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator:�'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator:�'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer..'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator:�'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller: 'No...'
Operator:�'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller: 'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's because it's dark.'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.'
Operator:�'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't..'
Operator:�'No? Why not?'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator:�'A power .... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'
Operator:�'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator:�'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator:�'Tell them you're too damned stupid to own a computer!'

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Old 02-15-2014, 09:28 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 3,786
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia ?'
Operator:�'Does the policy name give you a clue?'
When we were in Austria in 2003, my son got a T-shirt that says "There are no Kangaroos in Austria"

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