I passed a sign while driving along today, which said 'No u-turn'.
So I did an n-turn instead, which actually worked out better for me.
If you're on highway and the woman driving in front of you turns on the wipers when it's not raining, it can only mean one thing...
She will be changing lanes.
All this nonsense about BMW drivers not using turn signals is totally uncalled for.
Why only today I saw one with all four flashing at once while he was parked on a pavement blocking a wheelchair ramp while he made a phone call and ate his lunch.
My car's fan belt snapped and I had no money on me to buy another. Luckily, I knew how to use the wife's panty hose to fix it.
I put them on my head and robbed a bank.
My wife's just had her first car crash today.
Mind you, she had three yesterday and two the day before.
I just read "The shorter the journey to work, the more risks drivers are willing to take."
Nonsense. I never take risks on my way to work.
And I can get there before my windshields even defrosted.
My GPS just told me to turn around.
Now I can't see where I'm driving.
I'm proud to announce that I'm still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don't know we're racing.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
Thanks to me, no-one will ever know.
My wife's just finished a 12-hour shift.
I knew she'd find first gear eventually.
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
I used to be addicted to time travel, but that's all in the past now.