Father Murphy was a priest in a very poor parish. He asked for suggestions as to how to raise money for the church. He was told horse owners always had money, so he went to a horse auction. Unfortunately, he made a very poor buy as the horse turned out to be a donkey.
However, he thought he might as well enter the donkey in a race. The donkey came in third, and the next morning the headlines in the paper read, “Father Murphy’s Ass Shows”. The archbishop saw the paper and was very displeased.
The next day the donkey came in first and the headlines read “Father Murphy’s Ass Out in Front”. The archbishop was up in arms and figured something had to be done. Father Murphy entered the donkey for the third time and it came in second. Now the headline read “Father Murphy’s Ass Back in Place”
The archbishop thought this was too much so he forbade the priest from entering the donkey the next day, which inspired the editor to write, “ Archbishop Scratches Father Murphy’s Ass”.
Finally, the archbishop heard this and ordered Father Murphy to get rid of the donkey. He was unable to sell it, so he gave it to Sister Agatha for a pet. Now the headline read, “Nun Owns Best Ass in Town”. When the archbishop read this he ordered Sister Agatha to dispose of the animal at once. She sold it for ten dollars. The next day the headline read, “Sister Agatha Peddles Her Ass For Ten Dollars”.
They buried the archbishop three days later.
"Well that didn't go as expected"
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Rest in Peace Mary my darling wife.
Scottish by birth Canadian by time.