For Men Only

[OldCoot]

The forgotten manual. "How to make a woman happy"
It's not difficult to make a woman happy.

A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly,
46. love shopping,
47. be honest,
48. be very rich,
49. not stress her out,
50. not look at other girls.

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself,
52. give her lots of time,
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes.

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never forget:
A. birthdays
B. anniversaries
C. arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
1. Show up naked
2. Cook some food

[clancythecamper]

very funny :P

[myredracer]

No, no, no!

When our better halves get older, please show up fully clothed. Ya know what I'm sayin'?

The other problem I see here is that I like to do the cooking. That way I cleverly escape having to do the dishes.

Hmmm, that means I have been doing all 54 of the items on the list for nothing in return. Time to re-examine things perhaps....

[OldCoot]

Originally Posted by myredracer

No, no, no!

When our better halves get older, please show up fully clothed. Ya know what I'm sayin'?...

Someone once said "Speak for yourself John Alden"

[Bodean614]

I told mine not to wear a bra. She said why? Well it take the wrinkles out of you face. Then I picked my self up off the floor. Lol


This is the same women that has one breast bigger than the other. Entered wet tshirt contest and got first and third. Lol.

[DXSMac]

I'm female and I don't give a crap about birthdays or anniversaries.

[OldCoot]

Originally Posted by Bodean614

I told mine not to wear a bra. She said why? Well it take the wrinkles out of you face. Then I picked my self up off the floor. Lol


This is the same women that has one breast bigger than the other. Entered wet tshirt contest and got first and third. Lol.

And will you have a permanent limp when you finally get out of the hospital?

[Labzy]

I think less women will be reading this thread if you change the title to 'for women only'.

[BigBaron]

I like my better half in her birthday suit!

[OldCoot]

Originally Posted by BigBaron

I like my better half in her birthday suit!

X2

[Crabbyguy]

Originally Posted by DXSMac

I'm female and I don't give a crap about birthdays or anniversaries.

lol. Last year the wife and I were watching TV and she said, "Oops, do you know what last Thursday was?" I replied, "Oh sh*t, our anniversary." She laughed. Gotta love a woman who doesn't fuss over stuff like that.

[Bodean614]

I was watching a video last night with that creepy organ music and I yelled out don't go in that door you idiot. Wife says what are you watching. My reply. Our wedding video. !!!!!

[Crabbyguy]

Originally Posted by Bodean614

I was watching a video last night with that creepy organ music and I yelled out don't go in that door you idiot. Wife says what are you watching. My reply. Our wedding video. !!!!!

LOL!

[OldCoot]

Originally Posted by Bodean614

I was watching a video last night with that creepy organ music and I yelled out don't go in that door you idiot. Wife says what are you watching. My reply. Our wedding video. !!!!!

And when will you be released from the hospital? Will the lump on your head go away?

[wmtire]

A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.''

The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?''

The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''