Funny gripes

[NavySailor]

Stole this from another site, but I work in the aviation field as a jet engine mechanic and some of these are pretty close to the mark. Enjoy!



After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during
the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and
correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of
the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe
sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and
problems as submitted by Quanta's pilots and the solution recorded by
maintenance engineers.

By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an
accident.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

[B47]

Maybe in military gripe sheets and maybe not- but let say that if a FAA inspector that was reviewing a civilian airline aircraft log (and we do review them) and saw those kinds of corrective action entries,both the mechanic and the airline would soon be getting phone calls and letters from the FAA.

In the civilian world,an aircraft maintenance log is a permanent record and must contain true and accurate corrective action entries,including in some cases,a reference to the appropriate maintenance manual or company manual.

I really doubt that any airline pilot would take an aircraft that contains those types of corrective action entries.

It's funny reading,but it ain't so.

[Platokidd]

funny stuff

[DreiHunde]

Some of those brought back some memories!
Always good for a few chuckles!

[mlangdn]

Funny way to start the day!

[jtstromsburg]

Thanks for the laugh!

[Blackrock]

As a repair tech for a large fleet I see these maintenance write-ups every day. And here in southern Arizona with a lot of Hispanics in the workforce it takes a little interpretation somedays.


Just this week I had a complaint that a loaders headlights were dim. So I showed the operator how to select the hi beams. Duhuh.