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Old 06-29-2015, 10:48 AM   #1
Georgia Frog Rally 2017
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Location: GA
Posts: 7,296
God and Lawn Care

You will chuckle as you read this ..... Because as stupid as it may
> sound, this is exactly what we do!
> Frank, You know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is
> going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions,
> violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect
> no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil,
> withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the
> long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of
> songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all
> I see are these green rectangles.
> It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites.
> They started calling your flowers 'weeds' and went to Great lengths to
> kill them and replace them with grass.
> GOD:
> Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract
> butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive
> to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass
> growing there?
> Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it
> green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any
> other plant that crops up in the lawn.
> GOD:
> The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast.
> That must make the Suburbanites happy.
> Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut
> it-sometimes twice a week.
> GOD:
> They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
> Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
> GOD:
> They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
> No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
> GOD:
> Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow.
> And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
> Yes, Sir.
> GOD:
> These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on
> the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves
> them a lot of work.
> You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing
> so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it, so they
> can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
> GOD:
> What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer
> stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the
> spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they
> fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the
> soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.
> You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle.
> As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to
> have them hauled away.
> GOD:
> No!? What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter
> to keep the soil moist and loose?
> After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which
> they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of
> the leaves.
> GOD:
> And where do they get this mulch?
> They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
> GOD:
> Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine,
> you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us
> tonight?
> 'Dumb and Dumber', Lord. It's a story about....
> GOD:
> Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.


2015 35 FT V-Lite 30WRLIKS Diamond Package
2015 Chevy 2500 6.0 4:10 gearing.
Days camped in 2015--46
Days booked for 2016--60
Days camped in 2016 so far 51
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Old 06-29-2015, 10:57 AM   #2
(Dry Huunday)
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Funny cos it's true!


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The more people I meet, the more I like my dogs!
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Old 06-29-2015, 03:39 PM   #3
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Location: Western NY
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That's terrific!
2007 Rockwood Roo 232
2002 Chev Silverado 2500 HD Crew Cab
Me and DH (aka the Bearded Guy) and as many kids and grandkids as are available at any given time.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. - Edmund Burke
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Old 07-01-2015, 04:44 AM   #4
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Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, (*Romans‬ *1‬:*22‬ KJV)

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