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Old 12-21-2013, 04:52 PM   #1
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Location: Jefferson County, MO
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Gps

My GPS

I have a little GPS
I've had it all my life
Its better than the normal ones
My GPS is my wife

It gives me full instructions
Especially how to drive
"It's thirty miles an hour", it says
"You're doing thirty five"

It tells me when to stop and start
And when to use the brake
And tells me that it's never ever
Safe to overtake

It tells me when a light is red
And when it goes to green
It seems to know instinctively
Just when to intervene

It lists the vehicles just in front
And all those to the rear
And taking this into account
It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver
Has so helpful a device
For when we leave and lock the car
It still gives its advice

It fills me up with counseling
Each journey's pretty fraught
So why don't I exchange it
And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
Makes sure I'm properly fed,
It washes all my shirts and things
And - keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages
And my tendency to scoff,
I do wish that once in a while
I could turn the damned thing off.
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Old 12-21-2013, 04:56 PM   #2
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OMG we are married to the same woman!
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Old 12-21-2013, 05:51 PM   #3
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I've got a new GPS in my truck, too. It's call the "Nagigator"
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Old 12-21-2013, 05:55 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. Mike View Post
I've got a new GPS in my truck, too. It's call the "Nagigator"
Surround sound version?

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Old 12-21-2013, 05:59 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ford Idaho View Post
Surround sound version?

Yeah, but mostly it seems to come from my right. Fortunately, that's my bad ear.
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Old 12-21-2013, 07:31 PM   #6
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OMG! THANK YOU for a GOOD laugh! DW said, "that's not nice", referring to the last line.
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