Happy camping advice
I've seen some of these before, but others were new to me.
To be a happy camper, remember:
- A tuba placed on your picnic table will keep campsites on either side vacant.
- A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm, but eating a hot enchilada works just as well and is less dangerous.
- You can compress the diameter of your rolled-up sleeping bag by running over it with your car.
- A two-man pup tent should not be used either by two men or a pup.
- A potato baked in coals for an hour makes a good meal. One baked for three hours makes a good hockey puck.
- In emergency situations, you can survive by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic in your underwear.
- A large carp can be used for a pillow.
- You can get even with a bear who steals your food by going to his favorite stump and eating the ants.
- The guitar of a noisy teenager makes excellent kindling.
- You can duplicate the warmth of a down-filled bedroll by climbing into a garbage bag with two geese.
- You'll never get lost if you remember that moss always grows on the north side of your compass.
- Bear bells are convenient for campers in grizzly country. (The tricky part is getting them on the bears.)
I love camping. You havenít lived until youíve cut your way out of a sleeping bag with a Swiss army knife.
An "RV" is a "home away from home." In other words, nobody is gonna make your bed for you.
2011 Flagstaff 831 RLBSS
I used to be addicted to time travel, but that's all in the past now.