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Old 01-12-2011, 12:59 PM   #1
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How Pilots think

Don't ever let an airplane take you someplace where your brain hasn't arrived at least a couple of minutes earlier. Anon.

My first shock came when I touched the rudder. The thing tried to bite its own tail. The next surprise I got was when I landed; she stalled at a hundred and ten miles an hour. Jimmy Haizlip, commenting on his only flight in the Gee Bee.

The Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you.
attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible.
Bob Hoover

You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.
Paul F. Crickmore, 'Lockheed SR-71: The Secret Missions Exposed,' 1993.

I could be president of Sikorsky for six months before they found me out, but the president would only have my job for six seconds before he'd kill himself.
Walter R. 'Dick' Faull, test pilot.

Mistakes are inevitable in aviation, especially when one is still learning new things. The trick is to not make the mistake that will kill you.
Stephen Coonts

There's no such thing as a natural-born pilot.
Chuck Yeager

Do not spin this aircraft. If the aircraft does enter a spin it will return to earth without further attention on the part of the aeronaut.
first handbook issued with the Curtis-Wright flyer

An airplane might disappoint any pilot but it'll never surprise a good one.
Len Morgan

Trouble in the air is very rare. It is hitting the ground that causes it.
Amelia Earhart, '20 Hrs 40 Mins,' 1928.

Airplanes are near perfect, all they lack is the ability to forgive.
Richard Collins

Flying is so many parts skill, so many parts planning, so many parts maintenance, and so many parts luck. The trick is to reduce the luck by increasing the others.
David L. Baker

A 10 cent fuse will protect itself by destroying the $2,000 radio to which it is attached.
Robert Livingston, 'Flying The Aeronca.'

It's better to miss the lead story at 6 . . . than to become the lead story at 11.
Bruce Erion, President of the National Broadcast Pilots Assn., 1999

The explosion of the 'Challenger,' after twenty-four consecutive successful shuttle flights, grounded all manned space missions by the U.S. for more than two years. The delay barely evoked comment ... But contrast the early history of aviation, when 31 of the first 40 pilots hired by the Post Office died in crashes within six years, with no
suspension of service. C. Owen Paepke

A little mountain will kill you just as dead as a big one if you fly into it.
Stephen Coonts

Truly superior pilots are those who use their superior judgment to avoid those situations where they might have to use their superior skills.

The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.

If you're ever faced with a forced landing at night, turn on the landing lights to see the landing area. If you don't like what you see, turn 'em back off.

If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller.

To go up, pull the stick back. To go down, pull the stick back harder

Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man.... Landing is the first!

The similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies.
If ATC screws up, the pilot dies.

Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.

Helicopters don't fly. They beat the air into submission

Flying is not Nintendo. You don't push a button and start over.

The six P's:
Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance.

You can always depend on twin engine aircraft. When the first engine quits; the second will surely fly you to the scene of an accident.

The real value of twin engine aircraft is it will double your chances of engine failure.

You can only tie the record for flying low.

Flying at night is the same as flying in the day, except you can't see.

When you're sitting in the rubber raft looking up where your airplane used to be, it's too late to check the flight plan

Some pilots will make an emergency out of a bad magneto check. Others, upon losing a wing, will ask for a lower altitude.

The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.


Lou and Laura with Bella - German Short Hair Pointer
2008 GMC Sierra 2500HD Crewcab SB Allison Duramax
2010 Flagstaff 8526RLWS - Superglide 3300
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:03 PM   #2
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I am not a pilot, but I got a good laugh out of these.


Chap , DW Joy, and Fur Baby Sango
2006 Ford F150 Super Cab 4x4
2008 Surveyor 263
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:28 PM   #3
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I am a A&P Mechanic, I have worked as a maintenance supervisor, maintenance controller and I am now a Supervisor of QC for a Airline here in Houston.

My favorite Pilot joke after all of the years is "what is the difference between a pilot and a jet engine? The engine stops whinning when it gets to the gate.............."

My favorite write up is a "Loose nut behind the yoke"

Well I am sure I can go one, but you pilots have heard them all by now I am sure...

As for the switches in the cockpit: if it is off leave it off, if it is on leave it on, if it is dusty-Don't touch it.

Have a Safe Flight!
Dan, Kelly and Maddy.
Cupid and Kandi the Camp Dogs
Tomball, Texas
2006 Salem LE2013 Ford F150 Ecoboost Supercrew w/ factory tow package
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:31 PM   #4
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And I might add , Never fly beyond your experience or certification. I knew one pilot that crashed in a crosswind landing. FAA asked him what happened , he said I ran out of experience.
Bill And Theresa Perry, At Lake Gaston
2003 F 150 Super crew with 5.4 Tow package
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Old 01-12-2011, 02:22 PM   #5
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All very funny lines. Thanks for the smiles!!!
Tom and Margaret
2014 Berkshire 390bh-60

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Old 01-12-2011, 02:52 PM   #6
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Send a message via Skype™ to DAISY BOYKIN
Flying- is it safe?

Is flying safe? Maybe not-for there are more airplanes on the ocean bottom than submarines. So join the SUB NAVY!
Sid, Lois & HRH MISSY Terrible 2s SHIH TZU
2011 ROCKWOOD 8285 WS
2014 F-250 KING RANCH PS/SD/6R140/BFT
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Old 01-12-2011, 02:55 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by DAISY BOYKIN View Post
Is flying safe? Maybe not-for there are more airplanes on the ocean bottom than submarines. So join the SUB NAVY!
Never thought of that!

Lou and Laura with Bella - German Short Hair Pointer
2008 GMC Sierra 2500HD Crewcab SB Allison Duramax
2010 Flagstaff 8526RLWS - Superglide 3300
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Old 01-12-2011, 03:15 PM   #8
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When I was 16 and taking flying lessons my instructor took me out at night for night flying. I lived in a small rural area and when I was on the down wind leg getting ready for my final approach I asked him if I should turn on the landing light, he said "why, its only going to let you know what you will hit"
2013 Prime Time 230 FBS
Days camped in 2013: April to November
Days camped in 2014...about 40
Days camped in 2015...more than 2014!!
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Old 01-12-2011, 07:32 PM   #9
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One of the oldest (and can be true at times in my experiences) jokes in the airline biz;

Q: what is 16" long, black, and hangs down just in front of an A@@hole?

A: A Captain's Tie!

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Old 01-13-2011, 01:45 AM   #10
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Thanks for the laughs.

Scott, Debbie,
and the 2 Setters
Ryley & Lyla
'07 Cedar Creek Silverback 33LCDTS
'06 Ford F350 Dually

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