How retired people stay busy and have fun

[NeedMoreLeisureTime]

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their day is interesting.

Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and visited a shop. We were only in there for about five minutes. When we came out, there was a traffic officer writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a dumbass. He glared at me start running another ticket for having worn-out tires.

So my wife called him a s--- head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went back to the campground.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

[NeedMoreLeisureTime]

I walked into a bakery downtown the other day to pick up some bread for dinner. It was a busy day with a few people milling about and I took a spot beside a young fellow that had a smug look on his face...let's call him Fred.

Suddenly Fred whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. Nobody behind the counter noticed.

Fred says to me
"You see how clever I am? You old farts can never beat that!"

I thought about it for a moment, then said
"Well...any of us old guys are smarter than you, and I'll prove it to you. Watch this."

So I said to the baker,
"If you give me a cookie, I'll show you my famous magic trick!"

It's a small town bakery and sampling is no big deal so the baker gives me a cookie, which I promptly eat.

Then I say to the baker,
"That was good but not quite enough, could you please give me another cookie for my magic trick."

The baker is getting suspicious, but he gives me another one. I eat this one too.

Finally I say to the baker,
"If I could have just one more cookie...I'll be able to show you the most amazing magic trick."

The baker is getting angry now, but gives me one anyway. I eat this one as well.

Now the baker is really mad, and he yells,
"OK... And now where is your famous magic trick?"

So I point to Fred and say, look in his pocket.

[NeedMoreLeisureTime]

One night a nurse was making her rounds in a nursing home.
While walking down the hall, she came across an open door.
She looked in and saw old Frank sitting up in bed pretending to drive.
She asked, 'Frank, what are you doing?'
He replied, 'I'm driving to Toronto .' The nurse smiled at him and carried on making her rounds.
The next night as she walked past Frank's room she saw the same thing.
Again she asked, 'Frank, what are you doing?'
He replied, 'I'm driving to Toronto .. It's a two day trip, you know!'
The nurse smiled at him and carried on making her rounds.
Five minutes later she came across another open door and looked in.
She saw Bob pretending to dance with someone. She then asked, 'Bob, what are you doing?'
Bob replied, 'I'm dancing with Frank's wife. He's gone to Toronto for a couple of days...'.

[aceinspp]

I just love going to Walmart and walking through and going by a person basket and when ther not looking drop in some un unmentionables. Later RJD

[themounties]

Good one's

[Wobbles]

Thank you... I enjoyed the read, still smiling.

[phillyg]

I wake up every morning with nothing to do and going to bed at night with only half of it done.

[bob caldwell]

Way to start off New Year!!