Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-10-2013, 09:14 AM   #1
Senior Member
Wiscampsin's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 8,156
How to start a fight

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
A Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started....


My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
We were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,' she answered. I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...


I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....


My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
Reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
Drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed,

"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
Right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
Hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
Celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...


When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting
To me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had
Something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat,
Making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she
Thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall
Grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing
Scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into
The house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again
I handed her a toothbrush. I said, " When you finish cutting the
Grass, you might as well sweep the driveway."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.


My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, "What's on TV?"

I said, "Dust."

And then the fight started..


Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my
Lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the
Boat up to the van and proceeded to back out into a torrential
Downpour. The wind was blowing 50mph, so I pulled back into the
Garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather
Would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back
Into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back; now with a different
Anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "And, can you believe my
Stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...


My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming

She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in
About 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply
For Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to
Verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
Home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
To go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
Me and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at
The Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped
your pants. You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...


My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's darn near perfect."

And then the fight started........



2013 Palomino Sabre 34REQS-6

Link to pics:
Wiscampsin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2013, 09:21 AM   #2
Moderator Emeritus
RVChick's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: In the Country
Posts: 5,880
Those were great!!

Kenny n Karen
TV: 2007 Chevy Silverado 3500 DRW - named Alice
RV: 2012 XLR Thunderbolt 35x12 - named Thor
RVChick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2013, 09:57 AM   #3
Phat Phrog Stunt Team
TURBS's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 34,207
Very nice!
I enjoyed them well!
TURBS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2013, 10:07 AM   #4
Phat Phrog Stunt Team
DnD's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 1,175
Those are great! Thanks for posting!

At least 2 of those reminded me of the things my BiL would say! He is ALWAYS gettin into trouble! LOL

Example: Leading up to my sister's 40th birthday he kept telling her he was gonna trade her in for two 20 year olds... till one day an electrician friend overheard him and informed my BiL couldn't do that because he wasn't wired for 220!
Dan n Dione

TV: 2012 Ram 3500 Laramie CC LB 4x4 DRW
RV: 2013 Crusader 325RES Touring Edition
Days Camped: 2012 (3) 2013 (22)
Next Trip: Mission Bay, CA 6/6 - 6/9
DnD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2013, 10:13 AM   #5
Senior Member
caper's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,971
Great jokes but always remember a happy wife make for a happy life.
Terry and Janet
2008 3001W Windjammer
2007 Ford F150
caper is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2013, 10:28 AM   #6
Senior Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 153

XL 378 is offline   Reply With Quote

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

» Virginia Campgrounds

Reviews provided by is not in any way associated with Forest River, Inc. or its associated RV manufacturing divisions.

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities

Copyright 2002-2015 Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:46 PM.