A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in- law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone.
Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
- The wife phoned her husband in the office and said, "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner."
"Good." replied the husband, "Make sure she's well done."
- My mother-in-law's other car is a Broom!
- My mother-in-law said to me, "I'll dance on your grave." I said, "I hope you do. I'm being buried at sea."
- My mother-in-law is a well balanced person. She's got a chip on BOTH shoulders
- I have never made a fool of my mother-in-law,
I just leave her to display her natural talents herself.
- My mother-in-law and I were happy for 20 years,
Then we met each other.
- Last night the local peeping-tom knocked on my mother-in-laws' door, and asked her to shut her blinds.
- Behind every successful man stands a devoted wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
- Does it really surprise anyone that mother-in-law's Day occurs less than one week before Halloween?
- My mother-in-law asked me, "If you hate me so much, why is my photo on the mantle piece (shelf above the open fireplace)?" I told her, "So as to keep the kids away from the fire."
- I don't say my mother-in-law is ugly ... but round our way, the peeping toms are giving themselves up to the police.
- I always know when it's the mother-in-law knocking at the door – the mice throw themselves in the traps.
- The doorbell rang this morning. When I opened the door, there was my mother-in-law on the front step.
She said, "Can I stay here for a few days?"
I said, "Sure you can." And shut the door
- How are shotguns and mother-in-laws alike?
If there is one around, you just want to shoot it!
- Mother to daughter.
Your boyfriend such a jerk that I would be delighted to be his mother-in-law.
- Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.