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Old 01-07-2014, 03:22 PM   #1
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It's So Cold Jokes

Here area few I found
"It's so cold that...Starbucks is serving coffee on a stick!"

"It's so cold your false teeth chatter, and they are still in the glass."

"My skin is trying to climb into itself to warm up."

"It's so cold the lawyers have their hands in their OWN pockets!"

"It's so cold that there are icicles coming out of my faucet instead of water."

"It's so cold that the snowman is begging to come in and get warm!"

"It's so cold I thought I was still living in Ohio."

"It's so cold that I'm drinking hot sauce instead of coffee."

"It's so cold my pee froze in mid-stream!"

"It's colder than two ex-wives out there."

"It was so cold that my heating bill is FOUR TIMES what my mortgage payment is!"

"It's so cold that my freezer thaws my finger!"

"It is so cold that when I walk out the door it's like automatic botox."

"It's so cold that even the polar bears have headed south."

"My little girl said this morning, 'It's to cold to think.' She wanted to stay home in bed and not go to school."

"It's so cold that people who sell ice are drawing unemployment."

"It is so cold outside that I had to climb into a chest freezer to warm up!"

"It's so cold that flashers are carrying pictures."

"It's so cold that I actually feel like listening to Rush Limbaugh. That's how desperate I am for some hot air."

"It's so cold that I caught my dog on the toilet instead of going outside."

" It's so cold that, "my Snuggie needs a Snuggie!"

"It's so cold out that Richard Simmons started wearing pants."

"It's so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp-post."

"It's so cold outside that my long-johns are hiding."

"It's so cold out the hitchhikers are holding up signs with pictures of thumbs."

"It's so cold, my cat's tongue stuck to my nose."

"It's so cold outside the chickens are begging KFC to fry them up."

"It's so cold Ice-T changed his name to Instant-T."

"It's so cold we had to switch the baby to 40-weight baby oil."

"It's so cold that now we're worried about global freezing instead of global warming."

"It is so cold that the smoke froze up in the chimney."

"It's so cold that letter carriers are watching out for polar bears."

"It's so cold that even members of Congress couldn't get into a heated argument."

"It's so cold that we had to cut the piano up for fire wood. We only got two chords."

"It's so cold that heartburn sounds like a nifty way to get warm!"

"It's so cold that my baby flipped into the breach position to get the blood flow back to his feet. Those toes were COLD! Thanks you mother nature!"

"It's so cold even the muggers called in sick!"

"It's so cold out, the cops are tasering themselves."
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Old 01-08-2014, 07:14 AM   #2
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It's so cold people are sneaking into Mexico.
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Old 01-08-2014, 05:13 PM   #3
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You know it's cold when

Kentucky convict Robert Vick chooses jail over deep freeze - World - CBC News
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:13 PM   #4
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It's so cold that when we talk, our words freeze in the air. We have to bring them inside and thaw them out to hear what we're saying.
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Old 01-08-2014, 08:22 PM   #5
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It's so cold the men don't need Viagra?????

Ok, I'm outa here! If anyone is offended, I'll edit.
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