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Old 12-14-2012, 09:52 AM   #1
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Job at post office

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to
anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't
drink coffee."

"Ok; have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra
points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are
you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me
and I lost both my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay.
You've got enough points for me to hire you right
now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm.
You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on
starting at 10:00 am every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are
from 8:00 am to > 4:00pm, why don't you want me
here until 10:00 am?"




"This is a government job", the interviewer says.

"For the first two hours, we just stand around
drinking coffee and scratching our Nuts.

No point in you coming in for that.
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Old 12-14-2012, 10:00 AM   #2
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Hilarious
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Old 12-14-2012, 04:20 PM   #3
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This one needs to be read with your best Scottish accent.


A woman goes to the Doctor in Glasgow, worried about her husband's temper and threatening manner The Doc asks: "What's the problem, Janet?"

The woman says: "Weeell Doctor Cameron, I dinae know what to do. Every time ma hubbie comes home drunk, he threatens to slap me aroon'."

The Doctor says: "Aye, well... I have a real good cure for that.

When your husband arrives home intoxicated, just take a wee glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth.

Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he goes to bed and is sound asleep."


Two weeks later looking fresh and reborn. She says: "Doctor that was brilliant! Evrae time ma hubbie came home drunk, I swished with water. I swished an' swished, and he didnae touch me even once!


Tell me Doc...wha's the secret? How's the water do that?"

The Doctor says:

"Janet, it's really nae big secret.

The water does bugger all



it's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick..."
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Old 12-14-2012, 06:44 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DDC View Post
This one needs to be read with your best Scottish accent.

A woman goes to the Doctor in Glasgow, worried about her husband's temper and threatening manner The Doc asks: "What's the problem, Janet?" ......

Hmm - trying to figure out whether I should show this to my DH or have my name changed....
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Old 12-14-2012, 07:15 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by Janet H View Post
Hmm - trying to figure out whether I should show this to my DH or have my name changed....
love it!
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Old 12-14-2012, 09:56 PM   #6
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Just my luck to have a good joke with with the same name as an administrator, I'm humbled, sorry.
But he deserves a laugh too.
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