Joke - So this Engineer dies

[B47]

Originally Posted by RoadTrip

And lawyers will get it the first time too.

Regarding the shopping - if you think about it, I can see how her instructions could be misunderstood - at least in my New York mind.

[TURBS]

Originally Posted by B47

I wonder how many more of us have come down with the dreaded and contagious "Turbo" disease after reading all of these.

I have to wonder if this is an epidemic and if this is a new disease?
Can it be cured by the "caption this girl's"
Maybe THAT'S the treatment center?

[TURBS]

Turbospewingitis?
In patient or out patient service?

[B47]

Originally Posted by f1100turbo

I have to wonder if this is an epidemic and if this is a new disease?
Can it be cured by the "caption this girl's"
Maybe THAT'S the treatment center?

I first heard of it after reading this forum so I don't know - but it seems to be spreading fast here.

As far as the proposed cure - I suggest you check with your wife first.She may have another suggestion.

[TURBS]

Originally Posted by B47

I first heard of it after reading this forum so I don't know - but it seems to be spreading fast here.

As far as the proposed cure - I suggest you check with your wife first.She may have another suggestion.

Can guaranty it'll have NOTHING to do with hooters girls no matter how half dead I am!

[B47]

Originally Posted by f1100turbo

Can guaranty it'll have NOTHING to do with hooters girls no matter how half dead I am!

Smart man.

[AquaMan]

Originally Posted by f1100turbo

Seems I know I have a pic for the situation but can't find it type deal.

It wasn't my engineering pic I sent you last night was it?

[jeeplj8]

Originally Posted by herk7769

An engineer dies and reports to the Pearly Gates.Saint Peter checks his dossier and, not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell.

It doesn't take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell. He soon begins to design and build improvements.

Shortly thereafter, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. Needless to say, the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan and says: "So, how are things in Hell?"

Satan replies: "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning, flush toilets, and escalators. And there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

"What!" God exclaims: "You've got an engineer? That's a mistake - he should never have been sent to Hell. Send him to me."

"Not a chance," Satan replies: "I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him!"

God insists: "Send him back or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers: "Yeah, right. And where are you going to get a lawyer?

This is my all time favorite lawyer joke, and as I am one, I hear plenty! My second favorite:

A very successful partner in a large firm dies from a heart attack at his desk. He arrives at the pearly gates to find quite a fanfare. He is somewhat taken aback by all the fuss, and is still trying to get over the shock of his death at what he felt was the very early age of 59. At this point St. Peter grabs his hand gingerly and begins shaking it. "We are so honored to have you! You do look amazing for you age!"

The lawyer, convinced at this point there has been a serious mistake erupts: "My age? I am too young to die!!"

St Peter responds: "Don't be so modest, we checked your timesheets. You are 117!"

[AquaMan]

Since we've gone from engineer jokes, to old people jokes, to lawyer jokes, here's an old people joke to make our way back to engineers.

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.'

His wife rolls over and says, 'What in th...e world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.'

A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, 'Touchdown, tie score...'

After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.'

Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.'

Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, 'Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on for the old man.

He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

The wife says, 'What the hell was that?'

The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides

[TURBS]

Turbs approves!

[Herk7769]

Originally Posted by jeeplj8

This is my all time favorite lawyer joke, and as I am one, I hear plenty! My second favorite:

A very successful partner in a large firm dies from a heart attack at his desk. He arrives at the pearly gates to find quite a fanfare. He is somewhat taken aback by all the fuss, and is still trying to get over the shock of his death at what he felt was the very early age of 59. At this point St. Peter grabs his hand gingerly and begins shaking it. "We are so honored to have you! You do look amazing for you age!"

The lawyer, convinced at this point there has been a serious mistake erupts: "My age? I am too young to die!!"

St Peter responds: "Don't be so modest, we checked your timesheets. You are 117!"

Loved it! The profession could be replaced with any one who still uses manual time cards to log overtime.

[RoadTrip]

Old bickering couple get to heaven and can't stop fighting. They finally wave St. Peter over and ask for his help in getting a divorce. He agrees to help.

Years pass.

Decades go by, and finally St. Peter shows back up with a lawyer in tow and the couple divorces.

They realize their mistake after a few months and call St. Peter back over, asking for his help in getting them remarried.

"REMARRIED?!?"

St. Peter is incredulous! You saw how long it took me to get a lawyer up here - how long do you think it takes for us to get a priest???

[Herk7769]

Very funny, but over the top; no?
With thanks, for some yuks, I am closing the thread.