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02-20-2017, 05:46 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 185
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Just a few tidbits of wisdom during these times of turmoil.
I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
You know that tingly feeling you get when you are attracted to someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
__________________
Due to depreciation the above opinion is now worth less than what you paid for it.
Everyone is good at something... I happen to be a good bad example.
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02-20-2017, 05:50 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Southern, IL
Posts: 3,272
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LOL
__________________
Bob & Michelle
2016 Ford F-250 Lariat 4x4
2017 Flagstaff Super Lite 526RLWS
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02-20-2017, 05:52 PM
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#3
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Left Coast
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: vancouver,washington
Posts: 15,649
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Good ones!....lol
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02-20-2017, 05:56 PM
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#4
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 5,431
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Funny
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02-20-2017, 06:18 PM
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#5
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Montana
Posts: 605
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Kinda scared how many of them are fairly true, too.
__________________
2016 Berkshire XL 40A towing 2020 Jeep Wrangler unlimited.
Prior to this Jayco fifth wheel: 24' Eagle, 30'Designer, and 40' Jayco pinnacle.
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02-20-2017, 07:05 PM
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#6
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Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 337
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Absolute pearls. I suppose the the first one is caused by people who practice polygamy! That would explain at least 1 of them!!!
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02-20-2017, 08:48 PM
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#7
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Senior Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Farmer
Posts: 4,988
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Just sitting here reading.
It just doesn't get much better than this, except only while I'm camping. Which I'm not at the moment dang it.
__________________
2016 Coachmen Apex 250RLS Ultra Light 2023 Ram 2500 Big Horn Sport 3.73 
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02-20-2017, 09:18 PM
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#8
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Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Cochrane, AB
Posts: 829
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__________________
Richard & Diane
2014 Cedar Creek 38FL
2016 F350 Lariat CC DRW
Retired Metropolitan Police (UK)
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02-20-2017, 09:20 PM
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#9
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Cottage Grove
Posts: 237
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Wow...these are a hoot!
__________________
2019 Rockwood 2707WS
2009 Ram 2500 5.7/3:73
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02-20-2017, 10:51 PM
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#10
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 7,916
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I'm gonna use these at work in the morrow.
__________________
2017 Puma 297RLSS
2005 Ram 2500 4X4 diesel SMOKER!!
I love puns, irony and tasteless jokes...
born in Texas.... live in Arkansas 
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03-23-2017, 09:49 PM
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#11
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Junior Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oregon
I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
You know that tingly feeling you get when you are attracted to someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
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Lol, that was really funny. 
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