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Old 12-05-2015, 03:15 PM   #111
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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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Old 12-05-2015, 03:46 PM   #112
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When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to

smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you

going to be smiling?
Actually, these days they are telling you NOT to smile, at least in Illinois. Smiling screws up their face recognition software.
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Old 12-07-2015, 03:52 PM   #113
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Actually, these days they are telling you NOT to smile, at least in Illinois. Smiling screws up their face recognition software.
I was just about to post the same thing. Just had mine renewed a couple of months ago.
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Old 12-07-2015, 11:50 PM   #114
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When you are arguing with a fool, make sure he isn't doing the same thing.

Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

Blessed its the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
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Old 12-07-2015, 11:59 PM   #115
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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'Broker'?

Why do they call the airport 'the terminal' if flying is so safe?

If people from Poland are called 'Poles', why aren't people from Holland called 'Holes?'

Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
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Old 12-08-2015, 05:42 PM   #116
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Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'Broker'?
Because that's how he leaves you when he's done with your money - broker!
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Old 12-12-2015, 04:50 AM   #117
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If poison goes out of date, does it become more or less deadly?
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Old 12-12-2015, 05:04 AM   #118
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Isn't it funny... No matter where you stand in the road, you will always be referred to as "In the middle"
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Old 12-12-2015, 12:52 PM   #119
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ponderisms

When something is completely destroyed why do they call it " raised (raze) to the ground?
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Old 12-12-2015, 01:04 PM   #120
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Why are ladies' hairdryer and curling iron cords always twisted up in a knot? Do their heads spin when the bathroom door closes?
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