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Old 11-14-2015, 11:42 AM   #11
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It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.
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Old 11-15-2015, 10:54 AM   #12
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I've just been doing the math.

It's actually cheaper to start your own Octopus Farm than to buy retail printer ink.
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Old 11-16-2015, 02:06 PM   #13
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A bed is just a shelf you keep your body on when you are not using it.

Tim
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:10 AM   #14
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Never swallow your dentures, they may come back and bite you in the a**.
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:32 AM   #15
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We live in strange times.

Kids run wild and dogs go to obedience school...
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:35 AM   #16
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I feel like the people who hand out leaflets are really saying,

"Here, throw this away for me."
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:37 AM   #17
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I used to be scared of dentists because of the pain.

Now I'm scared of dentists because of the cost.
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:40 AM   #18
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I really miss not being able to slam the phone down on people. Violently pressing the "End Call" button just doesn't quite have the same effect.
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:41 AM   #19
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Some presents at Christmas time are small, yet they will truly stay with you forever.

Like wrapping paper glitter.
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Old 11-18-2015, 02:47 PM   #20
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Today, I beat my personal record of number of consecutive days lived.

Tim
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