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Old 11-18-2015, 02:59 PM   #21
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I didn't get up in time to make it to the gym this morning.

That makes five years in a row now...
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:10 PM   #22
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So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:22 PM   #23
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Usually, throwing money at a problem will solve it.

However, if your problem is a fire, it'll probably make it worse.
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:39 PM   #24
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My lawyer is a very smart guy.

He earns from my mistakes.
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Old 11-18-2015, 03:42 PM   #25
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Today, I beat my personal record of number of consecutive days lived.

Tim
Me too!

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Old 11-18-2015, 04:02 PM   #26
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I really miss not being able to slam the phone down on people. Violently pressing the "End Call" button just doesn't quite have the same effect.
Try a referee's whistle
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Old 11-18-2015, 05:38 PM   #27
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Change is a part of life.

After all, you can't expect always to have the right amount in cash.
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Old 11-18-2015, 05:40 PM   #28
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People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

They should use them to build real houses.
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Old 11-18-2015, 05:47 PM   #29
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Why isn't "Phonetic" spelled Phonetically ?
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Old 11-18-2015, 05:54 PM   #30
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Early to bed, early to rise, till you have enough money to do otherwise.
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