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Old 11-18-2015, 05:55 PM   #31
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As I lay there in intensive care, I realized 'the bigger they are, the harder they fall' was a little wide of the mark, and 'the bigger they are, the harder they punch' is a far more accurate idiom.
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Ducks are just all-terrain chickens
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Old 11-18-2015, 06:04 PM   #32
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You can take a horse to water but a pencil has to be led. (Lead)
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Old 11-18-2015, 06:05 PM   #33
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Correct me if I'm right !
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Old 11-18-2015, 06:56 PM   #34
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It has now been proven by the experts, that fertility is hereditary. If your parents don't have kids, then you won't either.
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Old 11-18-2015, 07:43 PM   #35
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It isn't that I'm not a people person, I'm just not a stupid people person.
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Old 11-18-2015, 07:44 PM   #36
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Why is it that whenever someone says "with all due respect", they're just about to say something that will hack someone off?
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Ducks are just all-terrain chickens
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:34 PM   #37
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Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:43 PM   #38
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why is abbreviation such a long word?

why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:49 PM   #39
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What if the hokey pokey really IS what it is all about?
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:51 PM   #40
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Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
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