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Old 06-25-2015, 11:44 AM   #91
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My girlfriend must have sat for ten minutes last night, wondering what to choose from the menu.

Eventually I had to step in and select, "Play Movie."
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-25-2015, 12:23 PM   #92
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Ever since I started playing baseball, my mother has always been my biggest supporter.

"Come on! you can do better than that!" she shouted at my wedding.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 06-27-2015, 11:29 PM   #93
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Lady speaking to her attorney: I want to marry my ex husband again!

Attorney: Why, just last month you got the divorce?

Lady: Well, after our divorce, he is very happy and I can not tolerate this at all.
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Old 07-03-2015, 08:06 AM   #94
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Well, I know it's childish, but me and my girlfriend have just had a great time having a pillow fight. I won. The secret is to stuff a few bricks in there.
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Old 07-03-2015, 08:07 AM   #95
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Here's a little known fact.

The average fight between men lasts 30 seconds.

The average fight between women?

30 years.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 07-03-2015, 04:04 PM   #96
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I don't understand...... You compliment someone on their mustache, and suddenly she's not your friend anymore?
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Old 07-06-2015, 01:50 PM   #97
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Women love a man with a sense of humor, and apparently there's nothing more hilarious than a million dollars in the bank.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 07-12-2015, 11:03 AM   #98
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DAMN it Ran out off pages.......PLEASE is there more
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Old 07-14-2015, 09:24 AM   #99
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tankroady View Post
DAMN it Ran out off pages.......PLEASE is there more
Ok, since you asked.

Math made simple.

If you have $20 and your wife has $5.

She has $25.
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I just threw some salt over my shoulder for good luck. Ended up smashing a mirror with the salt shaker.
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Old 07-14-2015, 09:47 AM   #100
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I was sitting in the living room last night when the wife walked in and said "What's on the tv?"
I said "Dust."
Apparently that isn't a good answer.
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