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Old 02-01-2021, 01:32 PM   #2561
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You have to understand my priorities..............
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Old 02-01-2021, 01:37 PM   #2562
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A chair??? oh no, I just stand facing the corner walls, waiting for my pet name to be called (my pet and me are called the same name)..... and I always lead by saying the dog (me) did it..... and I am sorry.....
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Old 02-01-2021, 11:45 PM   #2563
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My wife calls it repetitive reminders. That is why I gave her the Indian name of Five Horses. The English translation is Nag, Nag, Nag, Nag, Nag.
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Old 02-02-2021, 11:23 AM   #2564
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I got a new t-shirt...
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I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
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Old 02-04-2021, 09:33 AM   #2565
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And then the fight started....


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I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
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Old 02-05-2021, 07:53 PM   #2566
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Why Men Have Better Friends.

A woman didn't come home one night.

The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.

The man called his wife's 10 best friends.

None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship between Men:

A man didn't come home one night.

The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.

The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.

Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
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Old 02-05-2021, 09:33 PM   #2567
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CurtPutnam View Post
Why Men Have Better Friends.

A woman didn't come home one night.

The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.

The man called his wife's 10 best friends.

None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship between Men:

A man didn't come home one night.

The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.

The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.

Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Good one!
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Old 02-06-2021, 07:43 AM   #2568
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My wife asked me to take her to one of those restaurants where they make the food right in front of you. So I took her to Subway... and that’s how the fight started. Later RJD

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Old 02-06-2021, 10:47 AM   #2569
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...Attachment 247362
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A 72 hour hold in a psych unit is beginning to intrigue me as a potential vacation opportunity.
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Old 02-06-2021, 11:11 PM   #2570
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This could be you???
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I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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Old 02-06-2021, 11:33 PM   #2571
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Can someone turn this into a blues song?
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I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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Old 02-07-2021, 07:47 AM   #2572
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Can someone turn this into a blues song?
Country song. Definitely Country. I’ll get right on it.
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Old 02-07-2021, 10:24 AM   #2573
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My girlfriend said she wanted a puppy for her birthday, so I got her one.

The next morning she saw me loading it into the back of my car and said, "Hey. Where are you going?"

I said, "I'm sending him back."

"Sending him back!" she yelled. "Why?"

I said, "It's not your birthday any more."
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Old 02-08-2021, 11:57 AM   #2574
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I am starting to think, that I will never be old enough--------to know better.
Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as not to offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Mikhailovich Dostoevsky, Russian Novelist
S.E. Mich. Flagstaff 26FKWS / 2022 F-150 3.5 EcoBoost SCrew Propride
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Old 02-09-2021, 03:04 PM   #2575
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A husband and wife had a fight.

Wife called her mom: He fought with me again, I am coming to stay with you.

Mom: No dear, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you!
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Old 02-10-2021, 01:19 PM   #2576
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

My wife: Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you.
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Old 02-10-2021, 01:40 PM   #2577
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Quote:
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

My wife: Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you.
At least she was in a nice passive mood.
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Old 02-10-2021, 03:09 PM   #2578
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When your wife tells you to do whatever you want the last thing you should EVER do (and I can’t stress this enough) is whatever you want.
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Old 02-11-2021, 10:17 AM   #2579
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I don't think my wife loves me anymore. I walked in to the kitchen this morning and said "is that coffee I smell". She said " it is and you do."
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Old 02-11-2021, 01:43 PM   #2580
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My nose runs and my feet smell. I'm beginning to feel like I was built upside down.
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